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Never believe a rumour until you hear it officially denied.

John Mortimer

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John Mortimer
Age: 85 †
Born: 1923
Born: April 21
Died: 2009
Died: January 16
Barrister
Novelist
Poet Lawyer
Screenwriter
Writer
Hampstead Village
Sir John Clifford Mortimer
Sir John Mortimer
John Clifford Mortimer
Rumours
Officially
Denied
Hear
Belief
Believe
Never
Rumour

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A war against terrorism is an impracticable conception if it means fighting terrorism with terrorism.
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We may not be the creme de la creme, but we are the creme de la scum.
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The only rule I have found to have any validity in writing is not to bore yourself.
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I suppose true sexual equality will come when a general called Anthea is found having an unwise lunch with a young, unreliable model from Spain.
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Check-ups are, in my experience, a grave mistake all they do is allow the quack of your choice to tell you that you have some sort of complaint that you were far happier not knowing about.
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I don't think you ever feel a success really because everything could always be done better than you've done it.
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The point at which beliefs meet may be more significant, more useful to contemplate, than their sources.
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I knew nothing about farce until I read Puce a l'Oreille, and had no idea what a deadly serious business it is.
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I had inherited what my father called the art of the advocate, or the irritating habit of looking for the flaw in any argument.
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Success is good for the character.
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What obsesses a writer starting out on a lifetime's work is the panic-stricken search for a voice of his own.
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I suppose that writers should, in a way, feel flattered by the censorship laws. They show a primitive fear and dread at the fearful magic of print.
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To escape jury duty in England, wear a bowler hat and carry a copy of the Daily telegraph.
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Dying is a matter of slapstick and pratfalls. The ageing process is not gradual or gentle. It rushes up, pushes you over and runs off laughing. No one should grow old who isn't ready to appear ridiculous.
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Hell must be a place where you are only allowed to read what you agree with.
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People will go to endless trouble to divorce one person and then marry someone who is exactly the same, except probably a bit poorer and a bit nastier. I don't think anybody learns anything.
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I refuse to spend my life worrying about what I eat. There is no pleasure worth foregoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward.
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There's more of yourself in a book than a play. that's why we know all about Dickens and not much about Shakespeare. Ben Jonson murdered people Marlowe was a spy Shakespeare just sat in the corner and took notes.
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Marriage is like pleading guilty to an indefinite sentence. Without parole.
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There is always time for failure
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