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All the flower children were as alike as a congress of accountants and about as interesting.

John Mortimer

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John Mortimer
Age: 85 †
Born: 1923
Born: April 21
Died: 2009
Died: January 16
Barrister
Novelist
Poet Lawyer
Screenwriter
Writer
Hampstead Village
Sir John Clifford Mortimer
Sir John Mortimer
John Clifford Mortimer
Flower
Interesting
Children
Accountants
Aggravation
Alike
Congress

More quotes by John Mortimer

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I suppose that writers should, in a way, feel flattered by the censorship laws. They show a primitive fear and dread at the fearful magic of print.
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No brilliance is needed in the law. Nothing but common sense, and relatively clean finger nails.
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I had inherited what my father called the art of the advocate, or the irritating habit of looking for the flaw in any argument.
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Check-ups are, in my experience, a grave mistake all they do is allow the quack of your choice to tell you that you have some sort of complaint that you were far happier not knowing about.
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To escape jury duty in England, wear a bowler hat and carry a copy of the Daily telegraph.
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We may not be the creme de la creme, but we are the creme de la scum.
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The point at which beliefs meet may be more significant, more useful to contemplate, than their sources.
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My father, to whom I owe so much, never told me the difference between right and wrong now I think that's why I remain so greatly in his debt.
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A war against terrorism is an impracticable conception if it means fighting terrorism with terrorism.
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I found criminal clients easy and matrimonial clients hard. Matrimonial clients hate each other so much and use their children to hurt each other in beastly ways. Murderers have usually killed the one person in the world that was bugging them and they're usually quite peaceful and agreeable.
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Success is good for the character.
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Marriage is like pleading guilty to an indefinite sentence. Without parole.
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Never believe a rumour until you hear it officially denied.
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The officers of the branch of the Force (the Obscene Publications Squad) have a discouraging club tie, on which a book is depicted being cut in half by a larger pair of scissors.
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Dying is a matter of slapstick and pratfalls. The ageing process is not gradual or gentle. It rushes up, pushes you over and runs off laughing. No one should grow old who isn't ready to appear ridiculous.
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Farce is tragedy played at a thousand revolutions per minute.
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The only rule I have found to have any validity in writing is not to bore yourself.
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There's more of yourself in a book than a play. that's why we know all about Dickens and not much about Shakespeare. Ben Jonson murdered people Marlowe was a spy Shakespeare just sat in the corner and took notes.
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The people look forbidding, solemn, marked by that impossible ideal, Communism, which, like Christianity, seemed to demand too much of humanity and, falling into the wrong hands, led too easily to horrible brutality.
John Mortimer
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There is always time for failure
John Mortimer