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All the flower children were as alike as a congress of accountants and about as interesting.

John Mortimer

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John Mortimer
Age: 85 †
Born: 1923
Born: April 21
Died: 2009
Died: January 16
Barrister
Novelist
Poet Lawyer
Screenwriter
Writer
Hampstead Village
Sir John Clifford Mortimer
Sir John Mortimer
John Clifford Mortimer
Accountants
Aggravation
Alike
Congress
Flower
Interesting
Children

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We may not be the creme de la creme, but we are the creme de la scum.
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I had inherited what my father called the art of the advocate, or the irritating habit of looking for the flaw in any argument.
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I suppose true sexual equality will come when a general called Anthea is found having an unwise lunch with a young, unreliable model from Spain.
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Check-ups are, in my experience, a grave mistake all they do is allow the quack of your choice to tell you that you have some sort of complaint that you were far happier not knowing about.
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There's more of yourself in a book than a play. that's why we know all about Dickens and not much about Shakespeare. Ben Jonson murdered people Marlowe was a spy Shakespeare just sat in the corner and took notes.
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Like childhood, old age is irresponsible, reckless, and foolhardy. Children and old people have everything to gain and nothing much to lose. It's middle-age which is cursed by the desperate need to cling to some finger-hold halfway up the mountain, to conform, not to cause trouble, to behave well.
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The people look forbidding, solemn, marked by that impossible ideal, Communism, which, like Christianity, seemed to demand too much of humanity and, falling into the wrong hands, led too easily to horrible brutality.
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I knew nothing about farce until I read Puce a l'Oreille, and had no idea what a deadly serious business it is.
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Dying is a matter of slapstick and pratfalls. The ageing process is not gradual or gentle. It rushes up, pushes you over and runs off laughing. No one should grow old who isn't ready to appear ridiculous.
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The point at which beliefs meet may be more significant, more useful to contemplate, than their sources.
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There is always time for failure
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Success is good for the character.
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The only rule I have found to have any validity in writing is not to bore yourself.
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It is desperately important to remember when enough is enough, when you've finished the scene.
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To escape jury duty in England, wear a bowler hat and carry a copy of the Daily telegraph.
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Farce is tragedy played at a thousand revolutions per minute.
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Hell must be a place where you are only allowed to read what you agree with.
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The officers of the branch of the Force (the Obscene Publications Squad) have a discouraging club tie, on which a book is depicted being cut in half by a larger pair of scissors.
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A war against terrorism is an impracticable conception if it means fighting terrorism with terrorism.
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What obsesses a writer starting out on a lifetime's work is the panic-stricken search for a voice of his own.
John Mortimer