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Dying is a matter of slapstick and pratfalls. The ageing process is not gradual or gentle. It rushes up, pushes you over and runs off laughing. No one should grow old who isn't ready to appear ridiculous.

John Mortimer

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John Mortimer
Age: 85 †
Born: 1923
Born: April 21
Died: 2009
Died: January 16
Barrister
Novelist
Poet Lawyer
Screenwriter
Writer
Hampstead Village
Sir John Clifford Mortimer
Sir John Mortimer
John Clifford Mortimer
Ready
Gradual
Grows
Runs
Process
Gentle
Running
Appear
Matter
Ridiculous
Slapstick
Dying
Rushes
Laughing
Ageing
Grow
Pushes

More quotes by John Mortimer

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There's more of yourself in a book than a play. that's why we know all about Dickens and not much about Shakespeare. Ben Jonson murdered people Marlowe was a spy Shakespeare just sat in the corner and took notes.
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Never believe a rumour until you hear it officially denied.
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When... I told my father I wanted to be a writer, he had asked me to consider my unfortunate wife, who would have me about the house all day 'wearing a dressing gown, brewing tea and stumped for words'.
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It is desperately important to remember when enough is enough, when you've finished the scene.
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The only rule I have found to have any validity in writing is not to bore yourself.
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I had inherited what my father called the art of the advocate, or the irritating habit of looking for the flaw in any argument.
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I refuse to spend my life worrying about what I eat. There is no pleasure worth foregoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward.
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Marriage is like pleading guilty to an indefinite sentence. Without parole.
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We may not be the creme de la creme, but we are the creme de la scum.
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The officers of the branch of the Force (the Obscene Publications Squad) have a discouraging club tie, on which a book is depicted being cut in half by a larger pair of scissors.
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I knew nothing about farce until I read Puce a l'Oreille, and had no idea what a deadly serious business it is.
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Hell must be a place where you are only allowed to read what you agree with.
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I don't think you ever feel a success really because everything could always be done better than you've done it.
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All the flower children were as alike as a congress of accountants and about as interesting.
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To escape jury duty in England, wear a bowler hat and carry a copy of the Daily telegraph.
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My father, to whom I owe so much, never told me the difference between right and wrong now I think that's why I remain so greatly in his debt.
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The point at which beliefs meet may be more significant, more useful to contemplate, than their sources.
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Farce is tragedy played at a thousand revolutions per minute.
John Mortimer
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I found criminal clients easy and matrimonial clients hard. Matrimonial clients hate each other so much and use their children to hurt each other in beastly ways. Murderers have usually killed the one person in the world that was bugging them and they're usually quite peaceful and agreeable.
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A war against terrorism is an impracticable conception if it means fighting terrorism with terrorism.
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