Quote

Check-ups are, in my experience, a grave mistake all they do is allow the quack of your choice to tell you that you have some sort of complaint that you were far happier not knowing about.

John Mortimer

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John Mortimer
Age: 85 †
Born: 1923
Born: April 21
Died: 2009
Died: January 16
Barrister
Novelist
Poet Lawyer
Screenwriter
Writer
Hampstead Village
Sir John Clifford Mortimer
Sir John Mortimer
John Clifford Mortimer
Allow
Quacks
Choice
Complaint
Mistake
Complaints
Sort
Happier
Choices
Check
Knowing
Grave
Experience
Graves
Tell
Checks
Quack

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The point at which beliefs meet may be more significant, more useful to contemplate, than their sources.
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Success is good for the character.
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The only rule I have found to have any validity in writing is not to bore yourself.
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The officers of the branch of the Force (the Obscene Publications Squad) have a discouraging club tie, on which a book is depicted being cut in half by a larger pair of scissors.
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We may not be the creme de la creme, but we are the creme de la scum.
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My father, to whom I owe so much, never told me the difference between right and wrong now I think that's why I remain so greatly in his debt.
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It is desperately important to remember when enough is enough, when you've finished the scene.
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I found criminal clients easy and matrimonial clients hard. Matrimonial clients hate each other so much and use their children to hurt each other in beastly ways. Murderers have usually killed the one person in the world that was bugging them and they're usually quite peaceful and agreeable.
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I had inherited what my father called the art of the advocate, or the irritating habit of looking for the flaw in any argument.
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There is always time for failure
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I don't think you ever feel a success really because everything could always be done better than you've done it.
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All the flower children were as alike as a congress of accountants and about as interesting.
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Dying is a matter of slapstick and pratfalls. The ageing process is not gradual or gentle. It rushes up, pushes you over and runs off laughing. No one should grow old who isn't ready to appear ridiculous.
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Marriage is like pleading guilty to an indefinite sentence. Without parole.
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To escape jury duty in England, wear a bowler hat and carry a copy of the Daily telegraph.
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I refuse to spend my life worrying about what I eat. There is no pleasure worth foregoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward.
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A war against terrorism is an impracticable conception if it means fighting terrorism with terrorism.
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When... I told my father I wanted to be a writer, he had asked me to consider my unfortunate wife, who would have me about the house all day 'wearing a dressing gown, brewing tea and stumped for words'.
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What obsesses a writer starting out on a lifetime's work is the panic-stricken search for a voice of his own.
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People will go to endless trouble to divorce one person and then marry someone who is exactly the same, except probably a bit poorer and a bit nastier. I don't think anybody learns anything.
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