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No brilliance is needed in the law. Nothing but common sense, and relatively clean finger nails.
John Mortimer
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John Mortimer
Age: 85 †
Born: 1923
Born: April 21
Died: 2009
Died: January 16
Barrister
Novelist
Poet Lawyer
Screenwriter
Writer
Hampstead Village
Sir John Clifford Mortimer
Sir John Mortimer
John Clifford Mortimer
Clean
Needed
Law
Brilliance
Common
Relatively
Sense
Cleaning
Nothing
Nails
Finger
Fingers
More quotes by John Mortimer
My father, to whom I owe so much, never told me the difference between right and wrong now I think that's why I remain so greatly in his debt.
John Mortimer
The point at which beliefs meet may be more significant, more useful to contemplate, than their sources.
John Mortimer
When... I told my father I wanted to be a writer, he had asked me to consider my unfortunate wife, who would have me about the house all day 'wearing a dressing gown, brewing tea and stumped for words'.
John Mortimer
Dying is a matter of slapstick and pratfalls. The ageing process is not gradual or gentle. It rushes up, pushes you over and runs off laughing. No one should grow old who isn't ready to appear ridiculous.
John Mortimer
Farce is tragedy played at a thousand revolutions per minute.
John Mortimer
To escape jury duty in England, wear a bowler hat and carry a copy of the Daily telegraph.
John Mortimer
Like childhood, old age is irresponsible, reckless, and foolhardy. Children and old people have everything to gain and nothing much to lose. It's middle-age which is cursed by the desperate need to cling to some finger-hold halfway up the mountain, to conform, not to cause trouble, to behave well.
John Mortimer
We may not be the creme de la creme, but we are the creme de la scum.
John Mortimer
The only rule I have found to have any validity in writing is not to bore yourself.
John Mortimer
Marriage is like pleading guilty to an indefinite sentence. Without parole.
John Mortimer
Hell must be a place where you are only allowed to read what you agree with.
John Mortimer
I suppose true sexual equality will come when a general called Anthea is found having an unwise lunch with a young, unreliable model from Spain.
John Mortimer
I don't think you ever feel a success really because everything could always be done better than you've done it.
John Mortimer
People will go to endless trouble to divorce one person and then marry someone who is exactly the same, except probably a bit poorer and a bit nastier. I don't think anybody learns anything.
John Mortimer
It is desperately important to remember when enough is enough, when you've finished the scene.
John Mortimer
I found criminal clients easy and matrimonial clients hard. Matrimonial clients hate each other so much and use their children to hurt each other in beastly ways. Murderers have usually killed the one person in the world that was bugging them and they're usually quite peaceful and agreeable.
John Mortimer
All the flower children were as alike as a congress of accountants and about as interesting.
John Mortimer
Check-ups are, in my experience, a grave mistake all they do is allow the quack of your choice to tell you that you have some sort of complaint that you were far happier not knowing about.
John Mortimer
I had inherited what my father called the art of the advocate, or the irritating habit of looking for the flaw in any argument.
John Mortimer
I refuse to spend my life worrying about what I eat. There is no pleasure worth foregoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward.
John Mortimer
