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To escape jury duty in England, wear a bowler hat and carry a copy of the Daily telegraph.

John Mortimer

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John Mortimer
Age: 85 †
Born: 1923
Born: April 21
Died: 2009
Died: January 16
Barrister
Novelist
Poet Lawyer
Screenwriter
Writer
Hampstead Village
Sir John Clifford Mortimer
Sir John Mortimer
John Clifford Mortimer
Hate
Copies
Hats
Escape
Daily
Bowler
Carry
Bowlers
Wear
Telegraph
England
Jury
Duty
Copy

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Farce is tragedy played at a thousand revolutions per minute.
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I suppose true sexual equality will come when a general called Anthea is found having an unwise lunch with a young, unreliable model from Spain.
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I suppose that writers should, in a way, feel flattered by the censorship laws. They show a primitive fear and dread at the fearful magic of print.
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When... I told my father I wanted to be a writer, he had asked me to consider my unfortunate wife, who would have me about the house all day 'wearing a dressing gown, brewing tea and stumped for words'.
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We may not be the creme de la creme, but we are the creme de la scum.
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Success is good for the character.
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It is desperately important to remember when enough is enough, when you've finished the scene.
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I knew nothing about farce until I read Puce a l'Oreille, and had no idea what a deadly serious business it is.
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Dying is a matter of slapstick and pratfalls. The ageing process is not gradual or gentle. It rushes up, pushes you over and runs off laughing. No one should grow old who isn't ready to appear ridiculous.
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What obsesses a writer starting out on a lifetime's work is the panic-stricken search for a voice of his own.
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I refuse to spend my life worrying about what I eat. There is no pleasure worth foregoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward.
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A war against terrorism is an impracticable conception if it means fighting terrorism with terrorism.
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I don't think you ever feel a success really because everything could always be done better than you've done it.
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The people look forbidding, solemn, marked by that impossible ideal, Communism, which, like Christianity, seemed to demand too much of humanity and, falling into the wrong hands, led too easily to horrible brutality.
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There's more of yourself in a book than a play. that's why we know all about Dickens and not much about Shakespeare. Ben Jonson murdered people Marlowe was a spy Shakespeare just sat in the corner and took notes.
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The only rule I have found to have any validity in writing is not to bore yourself.
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There is always time for failure
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The point at which beliefs meet may be more significant, more useful to contemplate, than their sources.
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No brilliance is needed in the law. Nothing but common sense, and relatively clean finger nails.
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