Quote

To escape jury duty in England, wear a bowler hat and carry a copy of the Daily telegraph.

John Mortimer

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

John Mortimer
Age: 85 †
Born: 1923
Born: April 21
Died: 2009
Died: January 16
Barrister
Novelist
Poet Lawyer
Screenwriter
Writer
Hampstead Village
Sir John Clifford Mortimer
Sir John Mortimer
John Clifford Mortimer
Carry
Bowlers
Wear
Telegraph
England
Jury
Duty
Copy
Hate
Copies
Hats
Escape
Daily
Bowler

More quotes by John Mortimer

Image
I don't think you ever feel a success really because everything could always be done better than you've done it.
John Mortimer
Image
It is desperately important to remember when enough is enough, when you've finished the scene.
John Mortimer
Image
All the flower children were as alike as a congress of accountants and about as interesting.
John Mortimer
Image
Success is good for the character.
John Mortimer
Image
The people look forbidding, solemn, marked by that impossible ideal, Communism, which, like Christianity, seemed to demand too much of humanity and, falling into the wrong hands, led too easily to horrible brutality.
John Mortimer
Image
I refuse to spend my life worrying about what I eat. There is no pleasure worth foregoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward.
John Mortimer
Image
There's more of yourself in a book than a play. that's why we know all about Dickens and not much about Shakespeare. Ben Jonson murdered people Marlowe was a spy Shakespeare just sat in the corner and took notes.
John Mortimer
Image
The point at which beliefs meet may be more significant, more useful to contemplate, than their sources.
John Mortimer
Image
Dying is a matter of slapstick and pratfalls. The ageing process is not gradual or gentle. It rushes up, pushes you over and runs off laughing. No one should grow old who isn't ready to appear ridiculous.
John Mortimer
Image
Like childhood, old age is irresponsible, reckless, and foolhardy. Children and old people have everything to gain and nothing much to lose. It's middle-age which is cursed by the desperate need to cling to some finger-hold halfway up the mountain, to conform, not to cause trouble, to behave well.
John Mortimer
Image
My father, to whom I owe so much, never told me the difference between right and wrong now I think that's why I remain so greatly in his debt.
John Mortimer
Image
I suppose that writers should, in a way, feel flattered by the censorship laws. They show a primitive fear and dread at the fearful magic of print.
John Mortimer
Image
When... I told my father I wanted to be a writer, he had asked me to consider my unfortunate wife, who would have me about the house all day 'wearing a dressing gown, brewing tea and stumped for words'.
John Mortimer
Image
I knew nothing about farce until I read Puce a l'Oreille, and had no idea what a deadly serious business it is.
John Mortimer
Image
No brilliance is needed in the law. Nothing but common sense, and relatively clean finger nails.
John Mortimer
Image
There is always time for failure
John Mortimer
Image
Never believe a rumour until you hear it officially denied.
John Mortimer
Image
The only rule I have found to have any validity in writing is not to bore yourself.
John Mortimer
Image
I found criminal clients easy and matrimonial clients hard. Matrimonial clients hate each other so much and use their children to hurt each other in beastly ways. Murderers have usually killed the one person in the world that was bugging them and they're usually quite peaceful and agreeable.
John Mortimer
Image
We may not be the creme de la creme, but we are the creme de la scum.
John Mortimer