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The fact is I'm very self-similar.
John Hodgman
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John Hodgman
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: June 3
Author
Comedian
Film Actor
Podcaster
Presenter
Television Actor
Writer
Brookline
Massachusetts
John Kellogg Hodgman
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Fact
Facts
Self
More quotes by John Hodgman
When you think about it, the end of the world is a little bit like death: We all know it's going to come eventually, and as we get older, we feel we see the signs more and more distinctly.
John Hodgman
Most people presume my mustache is not real because it's much darker than my regular hair.
John Hodgman
We estimate that there are perhaps 20,000 prehistoric hunter-gatherers frozen up in those glaciers. Now, if they simply thaw and wander around, it's not a problem, but if they find a leader - a Captain Caveman, if you will - we'll be facing an even more serious problem.
John Hodgman
Hosting a TV show is a full-time job in which success is defined by it never ending.
John Hodgman
I have learned that newborn infants roll their eyes around and move their heads and their arms in short jerky spasms. And if you homeschool them, they will stay this way forever.
John Hodgman
A literary agent is nothing but a cheap salesman (or woman) while a writer is a cheap salesman (or woman) who also has to actually write the books.
John Hodgman
Only the nerds will save the earth.
John Hodgman
Traffic counting was very boring and cold to sit out on the streets of New Haven in five pairs of pants - well, that's an exaggeration it was three pairs of pants - in November for hours and hours clicking buttons counting which cars go left, right, and forward.
John Hodgman
A lot of media that that I want to consume, I don't want to have to own forever and ever. It's not like real estate.
John Hodgman
Truth may be stranger than fiction, goes the old saw, but it is never as strange as lies.
John Hodgman
I say, if you're going to eat a creature alive, you have to expect some screaming. That is the carnivore's burden.
John Hodgman
You know the old saying: History is written by the winners. And also, the team of hand-picked historians that the winner keeps hidden away in an underground bunker.
John Hodgman
Here's the thing: I am not only a creature of civilization, I'm an asthmatic person. I will only live so long as I have stockpiled the proper inhalers. I'm effectively a cyborg. You know how in Jurassic Park, they bred those dinosaurs with the lysine deficiencies, so if they ever got off the island, they'd die? That's me.
John Hodgman
If you have not seen it, FOOTBALL is a game in which men shove one another back and forth for no reason. They do not choose how, when, or whom they shove. They are doing this in order to please one angry old man on the sidelines. This old man is called the 'coach' or 'yelling surrogate' dad who will never be happy.
John Hodgman
Elwyn Brooks White was a very Maine personality which is, I hate everyone and everyone stay away from me.
John Hodgman
I do not think that a museum needs to engage with pop culture in order to make itself interesting to museumgoers. Museums are already interesting and engaging with pop culture for its own sake is just a quick way to seem and become dated.
John Hodgman
I actually own a copy of my own book that's how dedicated I am as an author.
John Hodgman
Creating fake facts does require a measure of haphazard research, insofar as they need to not just be possible, but also interesting.
John Hodgman
I would say aside from Moxie soda bottles and Masonic artifacts, there's nothing I really collect.
John Hodgman
It's not a secret family like I have a beautiful, gorgeous wife in Tokyo I have another mom and dad. I'm the kid and I have another mom and dad in Atwater Village, Los Angeles.
John Hodgman