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I say, if you're going to eat a creature alive, you have to expect some screaming. That is the carnivore's burden.
John Hodgman
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John Hodgman
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: June 3
Author
Comedian
Film Actor
Podcaster
Presenter
Television Actor
Writer
Brookline
Massachusetts
John Kellogg Hodgman
Going
Carnivore
Carnivores
Screaming
Creature
Burden
Expect
Creatures
Alive
More quotes by John Hodgman
Comedy does offer an avenue to television and film careers for untelegenic people that great drama does not.
John Hodgman
I have learned that newborn infants roll their eyes around and move their heads and their arms in short jerky spasms. And if you homeschool them, they will stay this way forever.
John Hodgman
Here's the thing: I am not only a creature of civilization, I'm an asthmatic person. I will only live so long as I have stockpiled the proper inhalers. I'm effectively a cyborg. You know how in Jurassic Park, they bred those dinosaurs with the lysine deficiencies, so if they ever got off the island, they'd die? That's me.
John Hodgman
I do not think that a museum needs to engage with pop culture in order to make itself interesting to museumgoers. Museums are already interesting and engaging with pop culture for its own sake is just a quick way to seem and become dated.
John Hodgman
I would be good for maybe not the center square but an upper square on 'Hollywood Squares.'
John Hodgman
I know electric knives are excellent for carving turkeys that have had their bones removed and been forced into a mold to shape them. Please note that those turkeys are called hams.
John Hodgman
What I've discovered more recently is copies of books that I didn't represent, but that my boss represented when I assisted her on the dollar pile. I won't mention any names, but it is this profoundly bittersweet time of realizing, Oh, I had a wonderful time working on this book and now it is a dollar relic on the side of the road.
John Hodgman
Traffic counting was very boring and cold to sit out on the streets of New Haven in five pairs of pants - well, that's an exaggeration it was three pairs of pants - in November for hours and hours clicking buttons counting which cars go left, right, and forward.
John Hodgman
Most people presume my mustache is not real because it's much darker than my regular hair.
John Hodgman
The reality is that there is an enormous value to gut-check instinctive decision-making in the world that is not hampered by reams and reams of research and complexity.
John Hodgman
Unfortunately for humanity, I've gotten into the habit of providing my own closing music for shows by singing a song and playing the ukulele.
John Hodgman
Elwyn Brooks White was a very Maine personality which is, I hate everyone and everyone stay away from me.
John Hodgman
Why certain political classes want purposefully to keep Americans in a state of perpetual debt and uncertainty and why certain people don't want a middle class - because middle class creates a certain happiness. You know what I mean?
John Hodgman
Part of the transaction between writer and reader is the pleasure of building a community and encouraging people to play along.
John Hodgman
Life may be miraculous in its unlikelihood in the universe, but it would be a fallacy to suggest that its rareness makes it inextinguishable.
John Hodgman
It's not a secret family like I have a beautiful, gorgeous wife in Tokyo I have another mom and dad. I'm the kid and I have another mom and dad in Atwater Village, Los Angeles.
John Hodgman
I'm not sure if that answers the question and I have absolutely no problem with any major world religion on Earth.
John Hodgman
I'm not a particularly religious person, but that feeling of getting transmissions from someplace else, even if it's from your own consciousness, is very, very real. To me, at least.
John Hodgman
I don't wish to brag, but I'm very intelligent.
John Hodgman
I had the pleasure of listening to Rickie Lee Jones' Flying Cowboys album on audio cassette, which had just come out at that time because I am an elderly man.
John Hodgman