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I say, if you're going to eat a creature alive, you have to expect some screaming. That is the carnivore's burden.

John Hodgman

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John Hodgman
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: June 3
Author
Comedian
Film Actor
Podcaster
Presenter
Television Actor
Writer
Brookline
Massachusetts
John Kellogg Hodgman
Screaming
Creature
Burden
Expect
Creatures
Alive
Going
Carnivore
Carnivores

More quotes by John Hodgman

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Unfortunately for humanity, I've gotten into the habit of providing my own closing music for shows by singing a song and playing the ukulele.
John Hodgman
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People who run for president seriously and people who become president enter a bizarre secret society in which they have had an experience that none of us will ever have.
John Hodgman
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Terry Gross. I would rush home from high school to listen to Terry Gross.
John Hodgman
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I am someone who values knowledge, actual knowledge. I also value stories and fiction a whole lot, and that's where the fake knowledge comes in.
John Hodgman
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Houdini, the magician who debunked magic, could not bear to see the great rationalist [Arthur Conan] Doyle enchanted by ghosts and frauds. And so he did what any friend would: He set out to prove spiritualism false and rob his friend Doyle of the only comforting fiction that was keeping him sane. It was the least he could do.
John Hodgman
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I would say aside from Moxie soda bottles and Masonic artifacts, there's nothing I really collect.
John Hodgman
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John Wilkes Booth and Lee Harvey Oswald meet in hell and team up to assassinate Satan.
John Hodgman
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I do not think that a museum needs to engage with pop culture in order to make itself interesting to museumgoers. Museums are already interesting and engaging with pop culture for its own sake is just a quick way to seem and become dated.
John Hodgman
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One can always come up with funny lists and jokes. You know what? I take it back. Not everyone can always come up with funny lists and some jokes. I'm very lucky to have a gift where I can do that pretty ably.
John Hodgman
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Writing for me always requires trickery. Tricking myself into sitting down, letting words tumble out until you find the good ones. It's sort of a trance. And when a piece is done, I have little memory of how I wrote it, and zero confidence I'd ever be able to do it again.
John Hodgman
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I think for the foreseeable future, the truth is going to be awful and funny all at the same time.
John Hodgman
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I suspect that when the truth ceases to be heartbreakingly funny, we will be in a better place and a happier society over all.
John Hodgman
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I don't wish to brag, but I'm very intelligent.
John Hodgman
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Comedy does offer an avenue to television and film careers for untelegenic people that great drama does not.
John Hodgman
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A literary agent is nothing but a cheap salesman (or woman) while a writer is a cheap salesman (or woman) who also has to actually write the books.
John Hodgman
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I actually own a copy of my own book that's how dedicated I am as an author.
John Hodgman
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My type of humor is me not caring whether people know what I'm talking about or not.
John Hodgman
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Only the nerds will save the earth.
John Hodgman
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Here's the thing: I am not only a creature of civilization, I'm an asthmatic person. I will only live so long as I have stockpiled the proper inhalers. I'm effectively a cyborg. You know how in Jurassic Park, they bred those dinosaurs with the lysine deficiencies, so if they ever got off the island, they'd die? That's me.
John Hodgman
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From a very selfish point of view, I'm enchanted by the idea that a politician can come along and speak simply and clearly and truthfully to an electorate as though they are grown-ups and to feel the electorate respond to that.
John Hodgman