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John Wilkes Booth and Lee Harvey Oswald meet in hell and team up to assassinate Satan.

John Hodgman

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John Hodgman
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: June 3
Author
Comedian
Film Actor
Podcaster
Presenter
Television Actor
Writer
Brookline
Massachusetts
John Kellogg Hodgman
Assassinate
Booth
Harvey
Satan
John
Meet
Hell
Wilkes
Team
Oswald

More quotes by John Hodgman

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We have all been empowered by the web: everyone with a keyboard can now effectively broadcast to a national audience. In a sense, it puts each of us on the same footing as the major media conglomerates, except for AOL, who now apparently own all our thoughts and teeth.
John Hodgman
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The villain of any story is often the most compelling character.
John Hodgman
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Traffic counting was very boring and cold to sit out on the streets of New Haven in five pairs of pants - well, that's an exaggeration it was three pairs of pants - in November for hours and hours clicking buttons counting which cars go left, right, and forward.
John Hodgman
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I am someone who values truth - actual truth as opposed to 'truthiness.'
John Hodgman
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From a very selfish point of view, I'm enchanted by the idea that a politician can come along and speak simply and clearly and truthfully to an electorate as though they are grown-ups and to feel the electorate respond to that.
John Hodgman
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The reality is that if you want to be in a reality-based community, you've got to respect reality and that means calling it bad when you see the past ahead and it doesn't look good and acknowledging when it's going to work.
John Hodgman
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I actually own a copy of my own book that's how dedicated I am as an author.
John Hodgman
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There is no ritual that enhances creativity other than just starting.
John Hodgman
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I think for the foreseeable future, the truth is going to be awful and funny all at the same time.
John Hodgman
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Elwyn Brooks White was a very Maine personality which is, I hate everyone and everyone stay away from me.
John Hodgman
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So much of creativity is the feeling that you're either getting a gift from some other dimension or some other part of yourself.
John Hodgman
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All I can ask from society is that it please stop telling me why I should like sports.
John Hodgman
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Americans don't need a metaphor for war. We have war. If anything, we use war as a metaphor for sports.
John Hodgman
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As a freelance writer, I'd be asked to become an expert for various magazines on any subject, whether food or wine or history or the life span of veterinarians. I was completely unschooled in any of these things.
John Hodgman
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I've made my evolutionary purpose and had children. I don't care if anybody likes me, I'm going to do what I want to do. I'm going to do a whole comedy show about swimming in the loathsomely cold waters of Maine.
John Hodgman
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I would definitely make eggs for the rest of my life if I could.
John Hodgman
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I know nothing about letting go.
John Hodgman
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Part of the transaction between writer and reader is the pleasure of building a community and encouraging people to play along.
John Hodgman
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Well, I always had this desire to celebrate and somehow be a part of things that I thought were really great.
John Hodgman
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This is one of the defining sorrows of books: that we cannot see one another.
John Hodgman