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You know the old saying: History is written by the winners. And also, the team of hand-picked historians that the winner keeps hidden away in an underground bunker.

John Hodgman

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John Hodgman
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: June 3
Author
Comedian
Film Actor
Podcaster
Presenter
Television Actor
Writer
Brookline
Massachusetts
John Kellogg Hodgman
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Keeps
Bunkers
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Historians
Team
Underground
Hand
Winners
Written
Picked
History
Historian
Away
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Hands
Hidden
Bunker

More quotes by John Hodgman

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Why certain political classes want purposefully to keep Americans in a state of perpetual debt and uncertainty and why certain people don't want a middle class - because middle class creates a certain happiness. You know what I mean?
John Hodgman
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You know, I began my life as a creative person writing true things for magazines and telling some very honest, straightforward personal essaying for This American Life, but until someone forces you, with a deadline, to really observe your life - unless you're motivated to do it yourself - there's so many stories that you miss.
John Hodgman
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When I listen to music - I don't particularly do it for fun all that much. It's not a big part of my life, and I'm not really on top of what's happening in the world of music in the way I was when I was a teenager.
John Hodgman
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Everyone wants to write a book. Very few people are able to do it.
John Hodgman
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Here's the thing: I am not only a creature of civilization, I'm an asthmatic person. I will only live so long as I have stockpiled the proper inhalers. I'm effectively a cyborg. You know how in Jurassic Park, they bred those dinosaurs with the lysine deficiencies, so if they ever got off the island, they'd die? That's me.
John Hodgman
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I would be good for maybe not the center square but an upper square on 'Hollywood Squares.'
John Hodgman
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Part of the transaction between writer and reader is the pleasure of building a community and encouraging people to play along.
John Hodgman
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Everyone feels like they would love to be a really cool bartender in a really cool bar, but you're still surrounded by people who want to destroy themselves with alcohol. When you look at it that way, it's not that much fun.
John Hodgman
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I don't wish to brag, but I'm very intelligent.
John Hodgman
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I think for the foreseeable future, the truth is going to be awful and funny all at the same time.
John Hodgman
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By the way, if I have my own cult of personality with my own geodetic dome in western Massachusetts, I will have a hurt yurt for anyone who crosses me.
John Hodgman
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I actually own a copy of my own book that's how dedicated I am as an author.
John Hodgman
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People like what they like. They're gonna do what they're gonna do.
John Hodgman
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A literary agent is nothing but a cheap salesman (or woman) while a writer is a cheap salesman (or woman) who also has to actually write the books.
John Hodgman
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I've made my evolutionary purpose and had children. I don't care if anybody likes me, I'm going to do what I want to do. I'm going to do a whole comedy show about swimming in the loathsomely cold waters of Maine.
John Hodgman
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Unfortunately for humanity, I've gotten into the habit of providing my own closing music for shows by singing a song and playing the ukulele.
John Hodgman
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This is one of the defining sorrows of books: that we cannot see one another.
John Hodgman
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What I've discovered more recently is copies of books that I didn't represent, but that my boss represented when I assisted her on the dollar pile. I won't mention any names, but it is this profoundly bittersweet time of realizing, Oh, I had a wonderful time working on this book and now it is a dollar relic on the side of the road.
John Hodgman
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My whole creative career is a product of the Internet. ...I'll take that back. To some degree. My fascination with cultural esoterica and trivia and so on was well-formed long before I got my first AOL account.
John Hodgman
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I naturally own a lot of very old magazines. And I enjoy going to old magazines because the advertisements in those magazines tended to have thousands of words of copy in them.
John Hodgman