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I have no skills. I mean, I can make jokes, I'm pretty good at talking to people on the Judge John Hodgman podcast. I can figure out what makes a pretty good story, and I can make eggs really well.

John Hodgman

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John Hodgman
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: June 3
Author
Comedian
Film Actor
Podcaster
Presenter
Television Actor
Writer
Brookline
Massachusetts
John Kellogg Hodgman
Judge
Good
Story
Jokes
People
Makes
Figure
Stories
Wells
Judging
Well
Skills
Mean
Figures
Eggs
Really
Pretty
John
Make
Talking

More quotes by John Hodgman

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Truth may be stranger than fiction, goes the old saw, but it is never as strange as lies.
John Hodgman
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It's not a secret family like I have a beautiful, gorgeous wife in Tokyo I have another mom and dad. I'm the kid and I have another mom and dad in Atwater Village, Los Angeles.
John Hodgman
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The villain of any story is often the most compelling character.
John Hodgman
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It’s been a tough couple of years for condescending nerds. And if bookstores fall, Jon, America will be inundated with a wandering, snarky underclass of unemployable purveyors of useless and arcane esoterica.
John Hodgman
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Creating fake facts does require a measure of haphazard research, insofar as they need to not just be possible, but also interesting.
John Hodgman
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Well, I always had this desire to celebrate and somehow be a part of things that I thought were really great.
John Hodgman
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I've made my evolutionary purpose and had children. I don't care if anybody likes me, I'm going to do what I want to do. I'm going to do a whole comedy show about swimming in the loathsomely cold waters of Maine.
John Hodgman
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I would be good for maybe not the center square but an upper square on 'Hollywood Squares.'
John Hodgman
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John Wilkes Booth and Lee Harvey Oswald meet in hell and team up to assassinate Satan.
John Hodgman
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So much of creativity is the feeling that you're either getting a gift from some other dimension or some other part of yourself.
John Hodgman
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My type of humor is me not caring whether people know what I'm talking about or not.
John Hodgman
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I say, if you're going to eat a creature alive, you have to expect some screaming. That is the carnivore's burden.
John Hodgman
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It was inevitable that in the proliferation of media and media channels and the natural debasing of authority that comes when you make an expert of someone who knows a few things and can be on television and you put the word expert underneath them, that is to say me, then eventually the very concept of expertise itself would become meaningless
John Hodgman
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My whole creative career is a product of the Internet. ...I'll take that back. To some degree. My fascination with cultural esoterica and trivia and so on was well-formed long before I got my first AOL account.
John Hodgman
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To want to become the President is, I think, such a bizarre ambition that it is automatically deranging.
John Hodgman
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By the way, if I have my own cult of personality with my own geodetic dome in western Massachusetts, I will have a hurt yurt for anyone who crosses me.
John Hodgman
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I actually own a copy of my own book that's how dedicated I am as an author.
John Hodgman
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I would definitely make eggs for the rest of my life if I could.
John Hodgman
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By the time I was writing the second book, my life had changed rather dramatically, thanks to the intervention of television, and I needed to find a way to discuss that. Otherwise the big, fake book would not be true on some level.
John Hodgman
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The fact is I'm very self-similar.
John Hodgman