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I am not a villain.I'm an only-child narcissist monster, but I wish no ill, nor do I wish for world domination what a hassle that would be!

John Hodgman

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John Hodgman
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: June 3
Author
Comedian
Film Actor
Podcaster
Presenter
Television Actor
Writer
Brookline
Massachusetts
John Kellogg Hodgman
Monsters
Child
Wish
Hassle
Children
Narcissist
Would
Domination
World
Monster
Villain
Ill

More quotes by John Hodgman

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Truth may be stranger than fiction, goes the old saw, but it is never as strange as lies.
John Hodgman
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The reality is that if you want to be in a reality-based community, you've got to respect reality and that means calling it bad when you see the past ahead and it doesn't look good and acknowledging when it's going to work.
John Hodgman
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I am not an Internet superstar.
John Hodgman
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I've made my evolutionary purpose and had children. I don't care if anybody likes me, I'm going to do what I want to do. I'm going to do a whole comedy show about swimming in the loathsomely cold waters of Maine.
John Hodgman
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Creating fake facts does require a measure of haphazard research, insofar as they need to not just be possible, but also interesting.
John Hodgman
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You are only pretentious if you are not sincere.
John Hodgman
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You know the old saying: History is written by the winners. And also, the team of hand-picked historians that the winner keeps hidden away in an underground bunker.
John Hodgman
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I would say aside from Moxie soda bottles and Masonic artifacts, there's nothing I really collect.
John Hodgman
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So much of creativity is the feeling that you're either getting a gift from some other dimension or some other part of yourself.
John Hodgman
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I would be good for maybe not the center square but an upper square on 'Hollywood Squares.'
John Hodgman
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Why certain political classes want purposefully to keep Americans in a state of perpetual debt and uncertainty and why certain people don't want a middle class - because middle class creates a certain happiness. You know what I mean?
John Hodgman
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Terry Gross. I would rush home from high school to listen to Terry Gross.
John Hodgman
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A lot of my time is spent reading antique or out-of-print books of reference.
John Hodgman
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This is one of the defining sorrows of books: that we cannot see one another.
John Hodgman
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Americans don't need a metaphor for war. We have war. If anything, we use war as a metaphor for sports.
John Hodgman
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Most people presume my mustache is not real because it's much darker than my regular hair.
John Hodgman
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Sports is a bloodless rehearsal of confrontation, and everyone shakes hands or high fives or fist bumps at the end to show that everything is okay.
John Hodgman
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I have learned that newborn infants roll their eyes around and move their heads and their arms in short jerky spasms. And if you homeschool them, they will stay this way forever.
John Hodgman
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If you have not seen it, FOOTBALL is a game in which men shove one another back and forth for no reason. They do not choose how, when, or whom they shove. They are doing this in order to please one angry old man on the sidelines. This old man is called the 'coach' or 'yelling surrogate' dad who will never be happy.
John Hodgman
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When you think about it, the end of the world is a little bit like death: We all know it's going to come eventually, and as we get older, we feel we see the signs more and more distinctly.
John Hodgman