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I am not a villain.I'm an only-child narcissist monster, but I wish no ill, nor do I wish for world domination what a hassle that would be!

John Hodgman

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John Hodgman
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: June 3
Author
Comedian
Film Actor
Podcaster
Presenter
Television Actor
Writer
Brookline
Massachusetts
John Kellogg Hodgman
Would
Domination
World
Monster
Villain
Ill
Monsters
Child
Wish
Hassle
Children
Narcissist

More quotes by John Hodgman

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The fact is I'm very self-similar.
John Hodgman
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Only the nerds will save the earth.
John Hodgman
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I am not an Internet superstar.
John Hodgman
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Everyone feels like they would love to be a really cool bartender in a really cool bar, but you're still surrounded by people who want to destroy themselves with alcohol. When you look at it that way, it's not that much fun.
John Hodgman
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If you have not seen it, FOOTBALL is a game in which men shove one another back and forth for no reason. They do not choose how, when, or whom they shove. They are doing this in order to please one angry old man on the sidelines. This old man is called the 'coach' or 'yelling surrogate' dad who will never be happy.
John Hodgman
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I know electric knives are excellent for carving turkeys that have had their bones removed and been forced into a mold to shape them. Please note that those turkeys are called hams.
John Hodgman
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We estimate that there are perhaps 20,000 prehistoric hunter-gatherers frozen up in those glaciers. Now, if they simply thaw and wander around, it's not a problem, but if they find a leader - a Captain Caveman, if you will - we'll be facing an even more serious problem.
John Hodgman
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To want to become the President is, I think, such a bizarre ambition that it is automatically deranging.
John Hodgman
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I'm not sure if that answers the question and I have absolutely no problem with any major world religion on Earth.
John Hodgman
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So much of creativity is the feeling that you're either getting a gift from some other dimension or some other part of yourself.
John Hodgman
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It’s been a tough couple of years for condescending nerds. And if bookstores fall, Jon, America will be inundated with a wandering, snarky underclass of unemployable purveyors of useless and arcane esoterica.
John Hodgman
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I still have a fondness for books. Many a time I will be antiquing, and I'll say, 'What's that old-timey curio over there? What is that, a candlestick telephone, one of those old pull-chain toilets? Oh no, it's a book. I used to help make those things! I will buy it and use it to decorate my chain of casual family-dining restaurants.
John Hodgman
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John Wilkes Booth and Lee Harvey Oswald meet in hell and team up to assassinate Satan.
John Hodgman
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I think for the foreseeable future, the truth is going to be awful and funny all at the same time.
John Hodgman
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I do not think that a museum needs to engage with pop culture in order to make itself interesting to museumgoers. Museums are already interesting and engaging with pop culture for its own sake is just a quick way to seem and become dated.
John Hodgman
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Truth may be stranger than fiction, goes the old saw, but it is never as strange as lies.
John Hodgman
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Why certain political classes want purposefully to keep Americans in a state of perpetual debt and uncertainty and why certain people don't want a middle class - because middle class creates a certain happiness. You know what I mean?
John Hodgman
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There is no ritual that enhances creativity other than just starting.
John Hodgman
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It seems that every generation needs its public, tweedy, literary personality to sell its consumer electronics. To whatever degree I can live up to the Plimptonian legacy, I am humble and proud.
John Hodgman
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I know nothing about letting go.
John Hodgman