Quote

If you have not seen it, FOOTBALL is a game in which men shove one another back and forth for no reason. They do not choose how, when, or whom they shove. They are doing this in order to please one angry old man on the sidelines. This old man is called the 'coach' or 'yelling surrogate' dad who will never be happy.

John Hodgman

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John Hodgman
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: June 3
Author
Comedian
Film Actor
Podcaster
Presenter
Television Actor
Writer
Brookline
Massachusetts
John Kellogg Hodgman
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Please
Yelling
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Coach
Never
Seen
Coaches
Men
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Dad
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Choose
Shove
Order
Football
Sidelines

More quotes by John Hodgman

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Unfortunately for humanity, I've gotten into the habit of providing my own closing music for shows by singing a song and playing the ukulele.
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My type of humor is me not caring whether people know what I'm talking about or not.
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People like what they like. They're gonna do what they're gonna do.
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I naturally own a lot of very old magazines. And I enjoy going to old magazines because the advertisements in those magazines tended to have thousands of words of copy in them.
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You are only pretentious if you are not sincere.
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I have learned that newborn infants roll their eyes around and move their heads and their arms in short jerky spasms. And if you homeschool them, they will stay this way forever.
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I'm not sure if that answers the question and I have absolutely no problem with any major world religion on Earth.
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To want to become the President is, I think, such a bizarre ambition that it is automatically deranging.
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You know the old saying: History is written by the winners. And also, the team of hand-picked historians that the winner keeps hidden away in an underground bunker.
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I do not think that a museum needs to engage with pop culture in order to make itself interesting to museumgoers. Museums are already interesting and engaging with pop culture for its own sake is just a quick way to seem and become dated.
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A literary agent is nothing but a cheap salesman (or woman) while a writer is a cheap salesman (or woman) who also has to actually write the books.
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Truth may be stranger than fiction, goes the old saw, but it is never as strange as lies.
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I would say aside from Moxie soda bottles and Masonic artifacts, there's nothing I really collect.
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Part of the transaction between writer and reader is the pleasure of building a community and encouraging people to play along.
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I had the pleasure of listening to Rickie Lee Jones' Flying Cowboys album on audio cassette, which had just come out at that time because I am an elderly man.
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When you think about it, the end of the world is a little bit like death: We all know it's going to come eventually, and as we get older, we feel we see the signs more and more distinctly.
John Hodgman
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I am not a villain.I'm an only-child narcissist monster, but I wish no ill, nor do I wish for world domination what a hassle that would be!
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When I listen to music - I don't particularly do it for fun all that much. It's not a big part of my life, and I'm not really on top of what's happening in the world of music in the way I was when I was a teenager.
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Sports is a bloodless rehearsal of confrontation, and everyone shakes hands or high fives or fist bumps at the end to show that everything is okay.
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People who run for president seriously and people who become president enter a bizarre secret society in which they have had an experience that none of us will ever have.
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