Quote

I know electric knives are excellent for carving turkeys that have had their bones removed and been forced into a mold to shape them. Please note that those turkeys are called hams.

John Hodgman

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John Hodgman
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: June 3
Author
Comedian
Film Actor
Podcaster
Presenter
Television Actor
Writer
Brookline
Massachusetts
John Kellogg Hodgman
Please
Electric
Called
Note
Hams
Forced
Carving
Excellent
Ham
Bones
Turkeys
Shape
Mold
Notes
Removed
Shapes
Knives

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I suspect that when the truth ceases to be heartbreakingly funny, we will be in a better place and a happier society over all.
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Hosting a TV show is a full-time job in which success is defined by it never ending.
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Only the nerds will save the earth.
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A lot of my time is spent reading antique or out-of-print books of reference.
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Why certain political classes want purposefully to keep Americans in a state of perpetual debt and uncertainty and why certain people don't want a middle class - because middle class creates a certain happiness. You know what I mean?
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Everyone wants to write a book. Very few people are able to do it.
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If you have not seen it, FOOTBALL is a game in which men shove one another back and forth for no reason. They do not choose how, when, or whom they shove. They are doing this in order to please one angry old man on the sidelines. This old man is called the 'coach' or 'yelling surrogate' dad who will never be happy.
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When I listen to music - I don't particularly do it for fun all that much. It's not a big part of my life, and I'm not really on top of what's happening in the world of music in the way I was when I was a teenager.
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You know, I began my life as a creative person writing true things for magazines and telling some very honest, straightforward personal essaying for This American Life, but until someone forces you, with a deadline, to really observe your life - unless you're motivated to do it yourself - there's so many stories that you miss.
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I think, as we all learn as a child, you have to learn to tolerate ambiguity better and I'm still terrible at it and I hate it even the word ambiguity makes me sick to me stomach.
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More people have more access to more readers for less money than ever before in history. It means a lot of dross but it means a lot of very talented people can find and nurture a readership in ways that were not possible twenty years ago. From a creative perspective, that is all that writing is about.
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There is a need for expertise, for real expertise. I'm not doing much to help that cause, but I think we can find the healthy balance between intellectualism and anti-intellectualism. Jocks and nerds may come together, I believe it.
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I don't wish to brag, but I'm very intelligent.
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I say, if you're going to eat a creature alive, you have to expect some screaming. That is the carnivore's burden.
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Everyone feels like they would love to be a really cool bartender in a really cool bar, but you're still surrounded by people who want to destroy themselves with alcohol. When you look at it that way, it's not that much fun.
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From a very selfish point of view, I'm enchanted by the idea that a politician can come along and speak simply and clearly and truthfully to an electorate as though they are grown-ups and to feel the electorate respond to that.
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