Quote

I know electric knives are excellent for carving turkeys that have had their bones removed and been forced into a mold to shape them. Please note that those turkeys are called hams.

John Hodgman

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

John Hodgman
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: June 3
Author
Comedian
Film Actor
Podcaster
Presenter
Television Actor
Writer
Brookline
Massachusetts
John Kellogg Hodgman
Called
Note
Hams
Forced
Carving
Excellent
Ham
Bones
Turkeys
Shape
Mold
Notes
Removed
Shapes
Knives
Please
Electric

More quotes by John Hodgman

Image
I've made my evolutionary purpose and had children. I don't care if anybody likes me, I'm going to do what I want to do. I'm going to do a whole comedy show about swimming in the loathsomely cold waters of Maine.
John Hodgman
Image
A lot of media that that I want to consume, I don't want to have to own forever and ever. It's not like real estate.
John Hodgman
Image
You are only pretentious if you are not sincere.
John Hodgman
Image
Part of the transaction between writer and reader is the pleasure of building a community and encouraging people to play along.
John Hodgman
Image
There is no ritual that enhances creativity other than just starting.
John Hodgman
Image
The villain of any story is often the most compelling character.
John Hodgman
Image
Terry Gross. I would rush home from high school to listen to Terry Gross.
John Hodgman
Image
Truth may be stranger than fiction, goes the old saw, but it is never as strange as lies.
John Hodgman
Image
The fact is I'm very self-similar.
John Hodgman
Image
Most people presume my mustache is not real because it's much darker than my regular hair.
John Hodgman
Image
Creating fake facts does require a measure of haphazard research, insofar as they need to not just be possible, but also interesting.
John Hodgman
Image
I suspect that when the truth ceases to be heartbreakingly funny, we will be in a better place and a happier society over all.
John Hodgman
Image
A lot of my time is spent reading antique or out-of-print books of reference.
John Hodgman
Image
I am not an Internet superstar.
John Hodgman
Image
My whole creative career is a product of the Internet. ...I'll take that back. To some degree. My fascination with cultural esoterica and trivia and so on was well-formed long before I got my first AOL account.
John Hodgman
Image
It was inevitable that in the proliferation of media and media channels and the natural debasing of authority that comes when you make an expert of someone who knows a few things and can be on television and you put the word expert underneath them, that is to say me, then eventually the very concept of expertise itself would become meaningless
John Hodgman
Image
I think, as we all learn as a child, you have to learn to tolerate ambiguity better and I'm still terrible at it and I hate it even the word ambiguity makes me sick to me stomach.
John Hodgman
Image
Sports is a bloodless rehearsal of confrontation, and everyone shakes hands or high fives or fist bumps at the end to show that everything is okay.
John Hodgman
Image
Houdini, the magician who debunked magic, could not bear to see the great rationalist [Arthur Conan] Doyle enchanted by ghosts and frauds. And so he did what any friend would: He set out to prove spiritualism false and rob his friend Doyle of the only comforting fiction that was keeping him sane. It was the least he could do.
John Hodgman
Image
This is one of the defining sorrows of books: that we cannot see one another.
John Hodgman