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I know electric knives are excellent for carving turkeys that have had their bones removed and been forced into a mold to shape them. Please note that those turkeys are called hams.
John Hodgman
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John Hodgman
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: June 3
Author
Comedian
Film Actor
Podcaster
Presenter
Television Actor
Writer
Brookline
Massachusetts
John Kellogg Hodgman
Shape
Mold
Notes
Removed
Shapes
Knives
Please
Electric
Called
Note
Hams
Forced
Carving
Excellent
Ham
Bones
Turkeys
More quotes by John Hodgman
What I've discovered more recently is copies of books that I didn't represent, but that my boss represented when I assisted her on the dollar pile. I won't mention any names, but it is this profoundly bittersweet time of realizing, Oh, I had a wonderful time working on this book and now it is a dollar relic on the side of the road.
John Hodgman
I would say aside from Moxie soda bottles and Masonic artifacts, there's nothing I really collect.
John Hodgman
A lot of media that that I want to consume, I don't want to have to own forever and ever. It's not like real estate.
John Hodgman
Most people presume my mustache is not real because it's much darker than my regular hair.
John Hodgman
Why certain political classes want purposefully to keep Americans in a state of perpetual debt and uncertainty and why certain people don't want a middle class - because middle class creates a certain happiness. You know what I mean?
John Hodgman
Comedy does offer an avenue to television and film careers for untelegenic people that great drama does not.
John Hodgman
Well, I always had this desire to celebrate and somehow be a part of things that I thought were really great.
John Hodgman
We have all been empowered by the web: everyone with a keyboard can now effectively broadcast to a national audience. In a sense, it puts each of us on the same footing as the major media conglomerates, except for AOL, who now apparently own all our thoughts and teeth.
John Hodgman
The fact is I'm very self-similar.
John Hodgman
By the way, if I have my own cult of personality with my own geodetic dome in western Massachusetts, I will have a hurt yurt for anyone who crosses me.
John Hodgman
I know nothing about letting go.
John Hodgman
John Wilkes Booth and Lee Harvey Oswald meet in hell and team up to assassinate Satan.
John Hodgman
I am not an Internet superstar.
John Hodgman
You are only pretentious if you are not sincere.
John Hodgman
I'm not sure if that answers the question and I have absolutely no problem with any major world religion on Earth.
John Hodgman
To want to become the President is, I think, such a bizarre ambition that it is automatically deranging.
John Hodgman
My whole creative career is a product of the Internet. ...I'll take that back. To some degree. My fascination with cultural esoterica and trivia and so on was well-formed long before I got my first AOL account.
John Hodgman
It's not a secret family like I have a beautiful, gorgeous wife in Tokyo I have another mom and dad. I'm the kid and I have another mom and dad in Atwater Village, Los Angeles.
John Hodgman
I have learned that newborn infants roll their eyes around and move their heads and their arms in short jerky spasms. And if you homeschool them, they will stay this way forever.
John Hodgman
One can always come up with funny lists and jokes. You know what? I take it back. Not everyone can always come up with funny lists and some jokes. I'm very lucky to have a gift where I can do that pretty ably.
John Hodgman