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I know electric knives are excellent for carving turkeys that have had their bones removed and been forced into a mold to shape them. Please note that those turkeys are called hams.
John Hodgman
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John Hodgman
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: June 3
Author
Comedian
Film Actor
Podcaster
Presenter
Television Actor
Writer
Brookline
Massachusetts
John Kellogg Hodgman
Bones
Turkeys
Shape
Mold
Notes
Removed
Shapes
Knives
Please
Electric
Called
Note
Hams
Forced
Carving
Excellent
Ham
More quotes by John Hodgman
Hosting a TV show is a full-time job in which success is defined by it never ending.
John Hodgman
I would definitely make eggs for the rest of my life if I could.
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By the way, if I have my own cult of personality with my own geodetic dome in western Massachusetts, I will have a hurt yurt for anyone who crosses me.
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Just a small-scale cult of personality, maybe raise a geodetic dome out in western Massachusetts and make people wear jumpsuits and give all their possessions to me.
John Hodgman
I've made my evolutionary purpose and had children. I don't care if anybody likes me, I'm going to do what I want to do. I'm going to do a whole comedy show about swimming in the loathsomely cold waters of Maine.
John Hodgman
It's not a secret family like I have a beautiful, gorgeous wife in Tokyo I have another mom and dad. I'm the kid and I have another mom and dad in Atwater Village, Los Angeles.
John Hodgman
The fact is I'm very self-similar.
John Hodgman
Life may be miraculous in its unlikelihood in the universe, but it would be a fallacy to suggest that its rareness makes it inextinguishable.
John Hodgman
As a freelance writer, I'd be asked to become an expert for various magazines on any subject, whether food or wine or history or the life span of veterinarians. I was completely unschooled in any of these things.
John Hodgman
I know nothing about letting go.
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Even the worst job has its benefits and so does being a professional literary agent, and - I know I said this at the time but I still believe it - the worst job is the one that you know is wrong for you, but you still do it. You're afraid to quit.
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It seems that every generation needs its public, tweedy, literary personality to sell its consumer electronics. To whatever degree I can live up to the Plimptonian legacy, I am humble and proud.
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I naturally own a lot of very old magazines. And I enjoy going to old magazines because the advertisements in those magazines tended to have thousands of words of copy in them.
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So much of creativity is the feeling that you're either getting a gift from some other dimension or some other part of yourself.
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People like what they like. They're gonna do what they're gonna do.
John Hodgman
You are only pretentious if you are not sincere.
John Hodgman
One can always come up with funny lists and jokes. You know what? I take it back. Not everyone can always come up with funny lists and some jokes. I'm very lucky to have a gift where I can do that pretty ably.
John Hodgman
Traffic counting was very boring and cold to sit out on the streets of New Haven in five pairs of pants - well, that's an exaggeration it was three pairs of pants - in November for hours and hours clicking buttons counting which cars go left, right, and forward.
John Hodgman
Part of the transaction between writer and reader is the pleasure of building a community and encouraging people to play along.
John Hodgman
You know the old saying: History is written by the winners. And also, the team of hand-picked historians that the winner keeps hidden away in an underground bunker.
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