Quote

It’s been a tough couple of years for condescending nerds. And if bookstores fall, Jon, America will be inundated with a wandering, snarky underclass of unemployable purveyors of useless and arcane esoterica.

John Hodgman

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John Hodgman
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: June 3
Author
Comedian
Film Actor
Podcaster
Presenter
Television Actor
Writer
Brookline
Massachusetts
John Kellogg Hodgman
Years
Wandering
Unemployable
Nerd
Purveyors
Wander
Inundated
Useless
Underclass
Tough
Arcane
Couple
Nerds
Fall
Condescending
America
Bookstores

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I have an unfortunate compulsion. I really would rather not do it, as it is very nerve-wracking and un-fun. But when it works, there is nothing like it.
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I've made my evolutionary purpose and had children. I don't care if anybody likes me, I'm going to do what I want to do. I'm going to do a whole comedy show about swimming in the loathsomely cold waters of Maine.
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The reality is that there is an enormous value to gut-check instinctive decision-making in the world that is not hampered by reams and reams of research and complexity.
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I am not a villain.I'm an only-child narcissist monster, but I wish no ill, nor do I wish for world domination what a hassle that would be!
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I had the pleasure of listening to Rickie Lee Jones' Flying Cowboys album on audio cassette, which had just come out at that time because I am an elderly man.
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I am not an Internet superstar.
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Sports is a bloodless rehearsal of confrontation, and everyone shakes hands or high fives or fist bumps at the end to show that everything is okay.
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I think, as we all learn as a child, you have to learn to tolerate ambiguity better and I'm still terrible at it and I hate it even the word ambiguity makes me sick to me stomach.
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The villain of any story is often the most compelling character.
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Comedy does offer an avenue to television and film careers for untelegenic people that great drama does not.
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John Wilkes Booth and Lee Harvey Oswald meet in hell and team up to assassinate Satan.
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A literary agent is nothing but a cheap salesman (or woman) while a writer is a cheap salesman (or woman) who also has to actually write the books.
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Truth may be stranger than fiction, goes the old saw, but it is never as strange as lies.
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Traffic counting was very boring and cold to sit out on the streets of New Haven in five pairs of pants - well, that's an exaggeration it was three pairs of pants - in November for hours and hours clicking buttons counting which cars go left, right, and forward.
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It seems that every generation needs its public, tweedy, literary personality to sell its consumer electronics. To whatever degree I can live up to the Plimptonian legacy, I am humble and proud.
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I say, if you're going to eat a creature alive, you have to expect some screaming. That is the carnivore's burden.
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Why certain political classes want purposefully to keep Americans in a state of perpetual debt and uncertainty and why certain people don't want a middle class - because middle class creates a certain happiness. You know what I mean?
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The reality is that if you want to be in a reality-based community, you've got to respect reality and that means calling it bad when you see the past ahead and it doesn't look good and acknowledging when it's going to work.
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A lot of my time is spent reading antique or out-of-print books of reference.
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Only the nerds will save the earth.
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