Quote

I have learned that newborn infants roll their eyes around and move their heads and their arms in short jerky spasms. And if you homeschool them, they will stay this way forever.

John Hodgman

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John Hodgman
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: June 3
Author
Comedian
Film Actor
Podcaster
Presenter
Television Actor
Writer
Brookline
Massachusetts
John Kellogg Hodgman
Learned
Newborn
Eyes
Infant
Forever
Heads
Eye
Roll
Moving
Short
Around
Arms
Jerky
Way
Stay
Spasms
Move
Infants

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When you think about it, the end of the world is a little bit like death: We all know it's going to come eventually, and as we get older, we feel we see the signs more and more distinctly.
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I am not a villain.I'm an only-child narcissist monster, but I wish no ill, nor do I wish for world domination what a hassle that would be!
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I am someone who values knowledge, actual knowledge. I also value stories and fiction a whole lot, and that's where the fake knowledge comes in.
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There is no ritual that enhances creativity other than just starting.
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We have all been empowered by the web: everyone with a keyboard can now effectively broadcast to a national audience. In a sense, it puts each of us on the same footing as the major media conglomerates, except for AOL, who now apparently own all our thoughts and teeth.
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People who run for president seriously and people who become president enter a bizarre secret society in which they have had an experience that none of us will ever have.
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I don't wish to brag, but I'm very intelligent.
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The fact is I'm very self-similar.
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My whole creative career is a product of the Internet. ...I'll take that back. To some degree. My fascination with cultural esoterica and trivia and so on was well-formed long before I got my first AOL account.
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I'm not a particularly religious person, but that feeling of getting transmissions from someplace else, even if it's from your own consciousness, is very, very real. To me, at least.
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It’s been a tough couple of years for condescending nerds. And if bookstores fall, Jon, America will be inundated with a wandering, snarky underclass of unemployable purveyors of useless and arcane esoterica.
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I would be good for maybe not the center square but an upper square on 'Hollywood Squares.'
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Traffic counting was very boring and cold to sit out on the streets of New Haven in five pairs of pants - well, that's an exaggeration it was three pairs of pants - in November for hours and hours clicking buttons counting which cars go left, right, and forward.
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Sports is a bloodless rehearsal of confrontation, and everyone shakes hands or high fives or fist bumps at the end to show that everything is okay.
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I suspect that when the truth ceases to be heartbreakingly funny, we will be in a better place and a happier society over all.
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So much of creativity is the feeling that you're either getting a gift from some other dimension or some other part of yourself.
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What I've discovered more recently is copies of books that I didn't represent, but that my boss represented when I assisted her on the dollar pile. I won't mention any names, but it is this profoundly bittersweet time of realizing, Oh, I had a wonderful time working on this book and now it is a dollar relic on the side of the road.
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It's not a secret family like I have a beautiful, gorgeous wife in Tokyo I have another mom and dad. I'm the kid and I have another mom and dad in Atwater Village, Los Angeles.
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I am someone who values truth - actual truth as opposed to 'truthiness.'
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Americans don't need a metaphor for war. We have war. If anything, we use war as a metaphor for sports.
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