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Most people presume my mustache is not real because it's much darker than my regular hair.
John Hodgman
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John Hodgman
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: June 3
Author
Comedian
Film Actor
Podcaster
Presenter
Television Actor
Writer
Brookline
Massachusetts
John Kellogg Hodgman
Presume
Mustache
Darker
Regular
Hair
Real
Much
People
More quotes by John Hodgman
People like what they like. They're gonna do what they're gonna do.
John Hodgman
I would definitely make eggs for the rest of my life if I could.
John Hodgman
You are only pretentious if you are not sincere.
John Hodgman
I naturally own a lot of very old magazines. And I enjoy going to old magazines because the advertisements in those magazines tended to have thousands of words of copy in them.
John Hodgman
I think, as we all learn as a child, you have to learn to tolerate ambiguity better and I'm still terrible at it and I hate it even the word ambiguity makes me sick to me stomach.
John Hodgman
A lot of media that that I want to consume, I don't want to have to own forever and ever. It's not like real estate.
John Hodgman
I have learned that newborn infants roll their eyes around and move their heads and their arms in short jerky spasms. And if you homeschool them, they will stay this way forever.
John Hodgman
Truth may be stranger than fiction, goes the old saw, but it is never as strange as lies.
John Hodgman
When you think about it, the end of the world is a little bit like death: We all know it's going to come eventually, and as we get older, we feel we see the signs more and more distinctly.
John Hodgman
If you have not seen it, FOOTBALL is a game in which men shove one another back and forth for no reason. They do not choose how, when, or whom they shove. They are doing this in order to please one angry old man on the sidelines. This old man is called the 'coach' or 'yelling surrogate' dad who will never be happy.
John Hodgman
I have no skills. I mean, I can make jokes, I'm pretty good at talking to people on the Judge John Hodgman podcast. I can figure out what makes a pretty good story, and I can make eggs really well.
John Hodgman
More people have more access to more readers for less money than ever before in history. It means a lot of dross but it means a lot of very talented people can find and nurture a readership in ways that were not possible twenty years ago. From a creative perspective, that is all that writing is about.
John Hodgman
John Wilkes Booth and Lee Harvey Oswald meet in hell and team up to assassinate Satan.
John Hodgman
Life may be miraculous in its unlikelihood in the universe, but it would be a fallacy to suggest that its rareness makes it inextinguishable.
John Hodgman
We estimate that there are perhaps 20,000 prehistoric hunter-gatherers frozen up in those glaciers. Now, if they simply thaw and wander around, it's not a problem, but if they find a leader - a Captain Caveman, if you will - we'll be facing an even more serious problem.
John Hodgman
Unfortunately for humanity, I've gotten into the habit of providing my own closing music for shows by singing a song and playing the ukulele.
John Hodgman
I am someone who values truth - actual truth as opposed to 'truthiness.'
John Hodgman
The fact is I'm very self-similar.
John Hodgman
Houdini, the magician who debunked magic, could not bear to see the great rationalist [Arthur Conan] Doyle enchanted by ghosts and frauds. And so he did what any friend would: He set out to prove spiritualism false and rob his friend Doyle of the only comforting fiction that was keeping him sane. It was the least he could do.
John Hodgman
There is no ritual that enhances creativity other than just starting.
John Hodgman
