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It is not my fault that my parents own the world's largest collection of black Santas.
John Green
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John Green
Age: 47
Born: 1977
Born: August 24
Author
Businessperson
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Film Producer
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Literary Critic
Novelist
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Indianapolis
Indiana
John Michael Green
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More quotes by John Green
And we'll call you... hmmm. Pudge. Huh? Pudge, the Colonel said. Because you're skinny. It's called irony, Pudge. Heard of it? Now, let's go get some cigarettes and start this year off right.
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There's some people in this world who you can just love and love and love no matter what.
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Bro, it's dark. You can't go to a strange building with a mysterious address in the dark. Haven't you ever seen a horror movie?
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He responded a few minutes later. Okay. I wrote back. Okay. He responded: Oh, my God, stop flirting with me!
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Youth is counted sweetest by those who are no longer young.
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He took a long drink, then grimaced. “I do not have a drinking problem,” he announced, his voice needlessly loud. “I have a Churchillian relationship with alcohol: I can crack jokes and govern England and do anything I want to do. Except not drink.
John Green
What is the point of being alive if you don't at least try to do something remarkable?
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When surprised and excited and innocent Gus emerged from Grand Gesture Metaphorically Inclined Augustus, I literally could not resist.
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I was a bit of a Victorian Lady, fainting-wise.
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That’s part of what I like about the book in some ways. It portrays death truthfully. You die in the middle of your life, in the middle of a sentence
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I'm not sure if I'm depressed. I mean, I'm not exactly sad. But I'm not exactly happy either. I can laugh and joke and smile during the day, But sometimes when I'm alone at night I forget how to feel.
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At least for tonight. In sickness and in health. In good times and in bad. For richer, for poorer. 'Till dawn do us part.
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She never liked me much, but she sure loved me
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It was an indulgence, learning last words. Other people had chocolate I had dying declarations.
John Green
In the end the listening exposes you even more than it exposes the people you're trying to listen to.
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Not the brightest gem in the jewelry shop, but you've got to admire his single-minded dedication to drug abuse.
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We’re as likely to hurt the universe as we are to help it, and we’re not likely to do either.
John Green
Ashes to ashes. Garage sale to garage sale,” I said.
John Green
So keeping the box closed just keeps you in the dark, not the universe.
John Green
I don't want to hear another negative word about cheerleaders. If it weren't for cheerleaders, who would tell us when and how to be happy during athletic events? If it weren't for cheerleaders, how would America's prettiest girls get the exercise that's so vital to a healthy life?
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