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Hi, I’m at the Speedway at Eighty-sixth and Ditch, and I need an ambulance. The great love of my life has a malfunctioning G-tube.

John Green

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John Green
Age: 47
Born: 1977
Born: August 24
Author
Businessperson
Critic
Editor
Film Producer
Journalist
Literary Critic
Novelist
Podcaster
Singer
Indianapolis
Indiana
John Michael Green
Life
Tube
Sixth
Tubes
Eighty
Need
Great
Malfunctioning
Needs
Ambulance
Love
Ditch

More quotes by John Green

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I wondered if there would ever be a day when I didn't think about Alaska, wondered whether I should hope for a time when she would be a distant memory - recalled only on the anniversary of her death, or maybe a couple of weeks after, remembering only after having forgotten.
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Tuesday—we had school for the first time. Madame O’Malley had a moment of silence at the beginning of French class, a class that was always punctuated with long moments of silence, and then asked us how we were feeling. “Awful,” a girl said. “En français,” Madame O’Malley replied. “En français.
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But it is the nature of stars to cross, and never was Shakespeare more wrong than when he has Cassius note, ‘The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars / But in ourselves.
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The real heroes anyway aren't the people doing things the real heroes are the people NOTICING things, paying attention. The guy who invented the smallpox vaccine didn't actually invent anything. He just noticed that people with cowpox didn't get smallpox.
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Your responsibility is not to the people you're making the gift for, but the gift itself.
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We had to forgive to survive the labyrinth
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Headline? he asked. 'Swing Set Needs Home,' I said. 'Desperately Lonely Swing Set Needs Loving Home,' he said. 'Lonely, Vaguely Pedophilic Swing Set Seeks the Butts of Children,' I said.
John Green
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I enjoy writing about people falling in love, probably because I think the first time you fall in love is the first time that you have to figure out how you're going to orient your life. What are you going to value? What's going to be most important to you? And I think that's really interesting to write about.
John Green
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I don't even know how ugly and pretty get decided.
John Green
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How about I call you when I finish this?” “But you don’t even have my phone number,” he said. “I strongly suspect you wrote it in the book.” He broke out into that goofy smile. “A nd you say we don’t know each other.
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Cold one day, sweet the next irresistibly flirty one moment, resistibly obnoxious the next.
John Green
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We’re as likely to hurt the universe as we are to help it, and we’re not likely to do either.
John Green
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I have to tell you man, that my stalker meter is kind of registering in the red zone right now.
John Green
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So why don't you go home for vacations?' I asked her. I'm just scared of ghosts, Pudge. And home is full of them.
John Green
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my lungs sucked at being lungs.
John Green
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This star won't go out. And it won't. we won't let it.
John Green
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One of the jobs of a writer is to add nuance and ambiguity to that straight line that people often draw to very specific kinds of heroism. Most of us don't get to be Snooki. For most of us heroism has to be in our everyday lives.
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I always had this secret suspicion that I was special.
John Green
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Reading a good book helps us to feel un-alone.
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It is so hard to leave-until you leave.
John Green