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Hi, I’m at the Speedway at Eighty-sixth and Ditch, and I need an ambulance. The great love of my life has a malfunctioning G-tube.

John Green

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John Green
Age: 47
Born: 1977
Born: August 24
Author
Businessperson
Critic
Editor
Film Producer
Journalist
Literary Critic
Novelist
Podcaster
Singer
Indianapolis
Indiana
John Michael Green
Life
Tube
Sixth
Tubes
Eighty
Need
Great
Malfunctioning
Needs
Ambulance
Love
Ditch

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A small olive-skinned creature who had hit puberty but never hit it very hard, Ben had been my best friend since fifth grade, when we both finally owned up to the fact that neither of us was likely to attract anyone else as a best friend.
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She's cute, I thought, but you don't need to like a girl who treats you like you're ten: You've already got a mom.
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Books are like tweets, except longer.
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That was the worst part about having cancer, sometimes: The physical evidence of disease separates you from other people.
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I have two kinds of Facebook friends: Those who know what 'DFTBA' means, and those who don't.
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weltschmerz: its the depression you feel when the world as it is does not line up with the world as you think it should be.
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I liked that he was a tenured professor in the Department of Slightly Crooked Smiles with a dual appointments in the Department of Having a Voice that Made My Skin Feel More Like Skin.
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This squirrel is inadequately afraid of humans! Squirrel, I am a threat to you! We are enemies! Please get off my bench! Oh, god! Oh, god! Don't touch me—oh, god!
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She had the kind of fingers you want to interlace with your own.
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Our lives are composed of a finite set of moments that we choose how to spend.
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I didn't even know what the feeling was, really, just that there was a lot of it.
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All hurt is brain hurt.
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I don’t know a perfect person. I only know flawed people who are still worth loving.
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The minister said, “Let us pray,” but as everyone else bowed their head, I could only stare slack-jawed at the sight of Peter Van Houten. After a moment, he whispered, “We gotta fake pray,” and bowed his head.
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It looked like an old painting, but real - everything achingly idyllic in the morning light - and I thought about how wonderfully strange it would be to live in a place where almost everything had been built by the dead.
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Maybe we're grass—our roots so interdependent that no one is dead as long as someone is still alive.
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Barnacles on the container ship of consciousness.
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Boys are much more likely to objectify girls bodies, while boys are seen by girls as whole people.
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The fundamental mistake I had always made - and that she had, in fairness, always led me to make - was this: Margo was not a miracle. She was not an adventure. She was not a fine and precious thing. She was a girl.
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