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You may be smart, but I've been smart longer.

John Green

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John Green
Age: 47
Born: 1977
Born: August 24
Author
Businessperson
Critic
Editor
Film Producer
Journalist
Literary Critic
Novelist
Podcaster
Singer
Indianapolis
Indiana
John Michael Green
Hipster
Smart
Longer
May

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Mom sobbed something into Dad's chest that I wish I hadn't heard, and that I hope she never finds out that I did hear. She said, I won't be a mom anymore. It gutted me pretty badly.
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If drunk were cookies, I'd be Famous Amos
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You have a choice in this world, I believe, about how to tell sad stories, and we made the funny choice.
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Dumpers may not always be the heartbreakers, and the Dumpees may not always be the heartbroken. But everyone has a tendency.
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You're not boring. You've got to stop saying that, or people will start believing you.
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If I could do it all over again, he said, his speech slow and vaguely mangled by his massive lower lip, I'd just let myself be trampled to death by the Satan Pig.
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I mean, it’s stupid to miss someone you didn’t even get along with. But I don’t know, it was nice, you know, having someone you could always fight with.
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The way I figure it, everyone gets a miracle.
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It seemed like forever ago, like we've had this brief but still infinite forever. Some infinities are bigger than other infinities.
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the existence of broccoli does not in any way affect the taste of chocolate
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Maybe some people need to believe in a proper and omnipotent God to pray, but I don't.
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What's the point in being alive if you don't at least try to do something remarkable? How very odd, to believe God gave you life, and yet not think that life asks more of you than watching TV.
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Dear Jane, Just so you know: e. e. cummings cheated on both of his wives. With prostitutes. Yours, Will Grayson
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Sometimes, you read a book and it fills you with this weird evangelical zeal, and you become convinced that the shattered world will never be put back together unless and until all living humans read the book.
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He liked the idea of coffee quite a lot—a warm drink that gave you energy and had been for centuries associated with sophisticates and intellectuals. But coffee itself tasted to him like caffeinated stomach bile.
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Hi, I’m at the Speedway at Eighty-sixth and Ditch, and I need an ambulance. The great love of my life has a malfunctioning G-tube.
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Waffles аrе јust awesome bread.
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Why don’t we break up? I guess I stay with her because she stays with me. And that’s not an easy thing to do.
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All good American literature is always interested in people who are ambiguously heroic, like Gatsby.
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I knew that I would know more dead people. The bodies pile up. Could there be a space in my memory for each of them, or would I forget a little of Alaska every day for the rest of my life?
John Green