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Congratulations! You're a woman. Now die.

John Green

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John Green
Age: 47
Born: 1977
Born: August 24
Author
Businessperson
Critic
Editor
Film Producer
Journalist
Literary Critic
Novelist
Podcaster
Singer
Indianapolis
Indiana
John Michael Green
Congratulations
Dies
Woman

More quotes by John Green

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That didn’t happen, of course. Things never happened the way I imagined them.
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I change my keyboard between every book. I usually shop around. I'm very passionate about the physical feel of pressing the keys. It's got to have the right springiness. I tend to find the built-in keys very unsatisfying, the keys are low-profile and don't really do anything - I want it to feel like I'm typing.
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I like to build places online where readers can have productive conversations about books.
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I spy with my little eye a great story.
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And now life has become the future. Every moment of your life is lived for the future—you go to high school so you can go to college so you can get a good job so you can get a nice house so you can afford to send your kids to college so they can get a good job so they can get a nice house so they can afford to send their kids to college.
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The fundamental mistake I had always made - and that she had, in fairness, always led me to make - was this: Margo was not a miracle. She was not an adventure. She was not a fine and precious thing. She was a girl.
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If people could see me the way I see myself - if they could live in my memories - would anyone love me?
John Green
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The pleasure isn't in doing the thing, the pleasure is in planning it.
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At the end, we brought her to New York, where I was living, for a series of experimental tortures that increased the misery of her days without increasing the number of them.
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How will I ever get out of this labyrinth! to a margin note written in her loop-heavy cursive: Straight & Fast.
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Becoming a father made me much more interested in the parent character in my novels. I've never found parents that interesting.
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Anyway, that was the last good day I had with Gus until the Last Good Day.
John Green
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I can't be you. You can't be me. You can imagine another well—but never quite perfectly, you know?
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Did I help you toward a fate you didn't want, Alaska, or did I just assist in your willful self-destruction?
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Incidentally, did you know that the whole eight glasses a day thing is complete bullshit and has no scientific basis? So many things are like that. Everyone just assumes they're true, because people are basically lazy and incurious, which incidentally is one of those words that sounds like it wouldn't be a word but is.
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Books are seldom useful unless they are also beautiful.
John Green
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Me: If you want me to be a teenager, don't send me to Support Group. Buy me a fake ID so I can go to clubs, drink vodka, and take pot. Mom: You don't take pot, for starters. Me: See, that's the kind of thing I'd know if you got me a fake ID.
John Green
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Even if it’s a dumb story, telling it changes people just the slightest little bit, just as living the story changes me. An infinitesimal change. And that infinetisimal change ripples outward —ever smaller but everlasting. I will get forgotten, but the stories will last. And so we all matter —maybe less than a lot, but always more than none.
John Green
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it is the nature of stars to cross
John Green
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At least it was instant. At least there wasn't any pain. I knew he was only trying to help, but he didn't get it. There was pain. A dul endless pain in my gut that wouldn't go away even when I knelt on the stingingly frozen tile of the bathroom, dry-heaving.
John Green