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Headline? he asked. 'Swing Set Needs Home,' I said. 'Desperately Lonely Swing Set Needs Loving Home,' he said. 'Lonely, Vaguely Pedophilic Swing Set Seeks the Butts of Children,' I said.

John Green

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John Green
Age: 47
Born: 1977
Born: August 24
Author
Businessperson
Critic
Editor
Film Producer
Journalist
Literary Critic
Novelist
Podcaster
Singer
Indianapolis
Indiana
John Michael Green
Loving
Headline
Asked
Vaguely
Home
Headlines
Children
Desperately
Needs
Swing
Swings
Seeks
Lonely
Butts

More quotes by John Green

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By saying you don’t care if the world falls apart, in some small way you’re saying you want it to stay together, on your own terms.
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I’ve stopped thinking about it. I don’t have time to have a girlfriend. I have like a full-time job Learning How to Be Blind.
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No headboards were broken.
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Teenagers think they are invincible
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There's a place in the brain for knowing what cannot be remembered.
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I don't want to hear another negative word about cheerleaders. If it weren't for cheerleaders, who would tell us when and how to be happy during athletic events? If it weren't for cheerleaders, how would America's prettiest girls get the exercise that's so vital to a healthy life?
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Tonight, darling, we are going to right a lot of wrongs.
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We idealize them as gods or dismiss them as animals.
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And then we were kissing.....The space around us evaporated, and for a weird moment I rally like my body this cancer-ruined thing I'd spent years dragging around suddenly seemed worth the struggle.
John Green
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Nothing has ever looked like that ever in all of human history.
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Osteosarcoma sometimes takes a limb to check you out. The, if it like you, it takes the rest.
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...whatever you're worried about, you're bigger than the worries.
John Green
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I've gotten really hot since you went blind.
John Green
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And the moral of the story is that you don't remember what happened. What you remember becomes what happened. And the second moral of the story, if a story can have multiple morals, is that Dumpers are not inherently worse than Dumpees - breaking up isn't something that gets done to you it's something that happens with you.
John Green
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She's cute, I thought, but you don't need to like a girl who treats you like you're ten: You've already got a mom.
John Green
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And we'll call you... hmmm. Pudge. Huh? Pudge, the Colonel said. Because you're skinny. It's called irony, Pudge. Heard of it? Now, let's go get some cigarettes and start this year off right.
John Green
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What do you mean by meant? Given the final futility of our struggle, is the fleeting jolt of meaning that art gives us valuable? Or is it the only value passing time as comfortably as possible?
John Green
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If drunk were cookies, I'd be Famous Amos
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Compromise is when you do what I tell you and I do what I want. ~Tiny Cooper
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I leave, and the leaving is so exhilarating I know I can never go back. But then what? Do I just keep leaving places, and leaving them, and leaving them, tramping a perpetual journey?
John Green