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And then I screwed up and the Colonel screwed up and Takumi screwed up and she slipped through our fingers.
John Green
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John Green
Age: 47
Born: 1977
Born: August 24
Author
Businessperson
Critic
Editor
Film Producer
Journalist
Literary Critic
Novelist
Podcaster
Singer
Indianapolis
Indiana
John Michael Green
Fingers
Colonel
Colonels
Slipped
Screwed
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The preciousness of the moment, which should make it easier to talk, makes it harder.
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One of the others shouted a translation: The beautiful couple is beautiful.
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Entropy increases. Things fall apart.
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You used, he said, and then took a sharp breath, to call me Augustus.
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People are different when you can smell them and look up close, you know?
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I choose the labyrinth.
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And then we were kissing.....The space around us evaporated, and for a weird moment I rally like my body this cancer-ruined thing I'd spent years dragging around suddenly seemed worth the struggle.
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I'll just go over to the Duke's, I said. Her parents already told me I could stay there. I'll go over there and open all my presents, and talk about how my parents neglect me, and then maybe the Duke will give me some of her presents because she feels so bad about how my mom doesn't love me.
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Caring doesn't sometimes lead to misery. It always does.
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I hate the idea that, when it comes to books and learning, hard is often seen as the opposite of fun. It's strange to me that we should be so quick to give up on a book or a math problem when we are so willing to grapple, for centuries if necessary, with a single level of Angry Birds.
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We have to live with ambiguity. We have to give ourselves over to it. The question is: How? How are we going to live in a universe where important questions will always go unanswered?
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And on the last day, the bad days become so difficult to recall, because one way or another, she had made a life here, just as I had. The town was paper, but the memories were not. All the things I’d done here, all the love and pity and compassion and violence and spite, kept welling up inside me.
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Ya gotta live somewhere, but also you GET to live somewhere.
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That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt.
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No headboards were broken.
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The Colonel explained to me that 1. this was Alaska's room, and that 2. she had a single room because the girl who was supposed to be her roommate got kicked out at the end of last year, and that 3. Alaska had cigarettes, although the Colonel neglected to ask whether 4. I smoked, which 5. I didn't.
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It looked like an old painting, but real - everything achingly idyllic in the morning light - and I thought about how wonderfully strange it would be to live in a place where almost everything had been built by the dead.
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It's hard to believe in coincidence, but it's even harder to believe in anything else.
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Caroline was always moody and miserable, but I liked it. I liked feeling as if she had chosen me as the only person in the world not to hate, and so we spent all this time together just ragging on everyone, you know?
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So I let her go, too. And I'm sorry.
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