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Let's make a deal: You figure out what the labyrinth is and how to get out of it, and i'll get you laid. -Alaska Young

John Green

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John Green
Age: 47
Born: 1977
Born: August 24
Author
Businessperson
Critic
Editor
Film Producer
Journalist
Literary Critic
Novelist
Podcaster
Singer
Indianapolis
Indiana
John Michael Green
Deals
Young
Make
Labyrinth
Alaska
Laid
Figure
Figures
Deal

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I hadn’t read a real series like that since I was a kid, and it was exciting to live again in an infinite fiction.
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I want to minimize the deaths I am responsible for.
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We're going to get gored to death by a feral fugging hog and your best strategy is to pretend it's a grizzly bear?
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If by that you mean that I dislike celebrity magazines, prefer food to anorexia, refuse to watch TV shows about models, and hate the color pink, then yes. I am proud to be not really a girl.
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When you acknowledge that there is nothing repulsive or unforgivable or shameful about yourself, it becomes easier to be that authentic person and feel like you're living a less performed life.
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The world went on, as it does, without my full participation, and I only woke up from the reverie when someone said my name.
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And the moral of the story is that you don't remember what happened. What you remember becomes what happened. And the second moral of the story, if a story can have multiple morals, is that Dumpers are not inherently worse than Dumpees - breaking up isn't something that gets done to you it's something that happens with you.
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You are so busy being YOU that you have no idea how utterly unprecedented you are.
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If you don't imagine, nothing ever happens at all.
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Sometimes people don't understand the promises they're making when they make them.
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The Colonel led all the cheers. Cornbread! he screamed. CHICKEN! the crowd responded. Rice! PEAS! And then, all together: WE GOT HIGHER SATs. Hip Hip Hip Hooray! the Colonel cried. YOU'LL BE WORKIN' FOR US SOMEDAY!
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Patients are almost always preceded by their parents, because no matter how fast an ambulance can drive, terrified parents can drive faster.
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Because you're only thinking they-might-not-like-me-they-might-not-like-me, and guess what? When you act like that, no one likes you.
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feeling - probably for the first time in my life - the fear and excitement of living in a place where you never know what's going to happen or when.
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As a child I was an inveterate liar. As opposed to now, I am a Novelist.
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I knew that I would know more dead people. The bodies pile up. Could there be a space in my memory for each of them, or would I forget a little of Alaska every day for the rest of my life?
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Colin did not laugh. Instead he thought, Tampons have strings? Why? Of all the major human mysteries - God, the nature of the universe, etc. - he knew the least about tampons. To Colin, tampons were a little bit like grizzly bears: he was aware of their existence, but he'd never seen on in the wild, and didn't really care to.
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He liked the idea of coffee quite a lot—a warm drink that gave you energy and had been for centuries associated with sophisticates and intellectuals. But coffee itself tasted to him like caffeinated stomach bile.
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She's cute, I thought, but you don't need to like a girl who treats you like you're ten: You've already got a mom.
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I don't have a favourite book, I have hundreds.
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