Quote

I wish you wusses would stop whining about your unhappiness. I'm really fed up with it. Pour yourself a scotch and pull yourself together. Go out and shoot something!

John Cleese

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John Cleese
Age: 85
Born: 1939
Born: October 27
Actor
Autobiographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Weston-super-Mare
Somerset
John Marwood Cleese
Wish
Together
Whining
Something
Scotch
Really
Pour
Would
Unhappiness
Shoot
Pull
Stop

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I think it takes a long time, as you get older, to realize just how crazy the world is, just how ridiculous it all is.
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I was a terrible dancer. I dance like an Englishman.
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I think you can write very good comedy without a partner, but what I love about it, working with a partner, is that you get to places you'd never get on your own. It's like when God was designing the world and decided we couldn't have children without a partner it was a way of mixing up the genes so you'd get a more interesting product.
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What's the bleedin' point?
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If I like chocolate it won't surprise you that I have a few chocolates in my fridge, but if you find out I've got 16 warehouses full of chocolate, you'd think I was insane. All these rich guys are insane, obsessive compulsive twits obsessed with money - money is all they think about - they're all nuts.
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Telling people how to be creative is easy - being creative is difficult.
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The most creative people have learned to tolerate the slight discomfort of indecision for much longer and so, just because they put in more pondering time, their solutions are more creative.
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When you're being stalked by an angry mob with raspberries, the first thing to do is to release a tiger.
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Laughter destroys any divisions between people.
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Your Mother was A Hamster and you Father Smelled of elder berries.
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Aping urbanity, Oozing with vanity, Plump as a manatee, Faking humanity, Intellectual inanity, Journalistic calamity, Fox Noise insanity, You're a profanity, Hannity.
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Bureaucrats shouldn't be in charge of comedy.
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It’s only on the brink that people find the will to change. Only at the precipice do we evolve.
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years ago we would have been burned for this. Now what I am suggesting is that we've advanced.
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Come to me. I want to plow you like a Calgary driveway at Christmas.
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A satisfied customer. We should have him stuffed.
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I think there are so many activities going on, like mountaineering. You know, you would pay good money not to have to do that, and yet there are people racing out who want to spend their spare time clambering up rocks.
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