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My views are heretical to people who believe in political correctness.

John Cleese

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John Cleese
Age: 85
Born: 1939
Born: October 27
Actor
Autobiographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Weston-super-Mare
Somerset
John Marwood Cleese
Views
Political
Believe
People
Heretical
Correctness

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My hovercraft is full of eels.
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The one thing I remember about Christmas was that my father used to take me out in a boat about ten miles offshore on Christmas Day, and I used to have to swim back. Extraordinary. It was a ritual. Mind you, that wasn't the hard part. The difficult bit was getting out of the sack.
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When I was in school, I was beaten every 30 minutes. It never did me any harm except for some psychological mal-adjustments and blurred vision.
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The Americans are so much more positive. They are much more in love with success. In Britain, they're a fairly envious bunch, and they love it if you fail.
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I can never do better than 'Fawlty Towers,' whatever I do. Now I very much want to teach young talent some rules of the game.
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Michael Palin decided to give up on his considerable comedy talents to make those dreadfully tedious travel shows. Have you ever tried to watch one?
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You have to create boundaries of space and then you have to create boundaries of time.
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Don't let anyone tell you what you ought to like... Some wines that some experts think are absolutely exquisite don't appeal to me at all.
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Oh, I could spend my life having this conversation - look - please try to understand before one of us dies
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God was treated like this powerful, erratic, rather punitive father who has to be pacified and praised. You know, flattered.
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A satisfied customer. We should have him stuffed.
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Now most people do not want an ordinary life in which they do a job well, earn the respect of their collaborators and competitors, bring up a family and have friends. That's not enough any more, and I think that is absolutely tragic - and I'm not exaggerating - that people feel like a decent, ordinary, fun life is no longer enough.
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Come to me. I want to plow you like a Calgary driveway at Christmas.
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I'm very odd 'cause I think there's more than just a materialist planet, a materialist, reductionist planet.
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It's a plastic surgeon you need, not a doctor
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I was always a sports nut but I've lost interest now in whether one bunch of mercenaries in north London is going to beat another bunch of mercenaries from west London.
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I have several times made a poor choice by avoiding a necessary confrontation.
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When you've been doing comedy for forty years, you really do know most of the jokes. And even if you don't know a specific joke, you can pretty much guess what it's going to be.
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What is absurd is not the teachings of the founders of religion, it's what followers subsequently make of it.
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Telling people how to be creative is easy - being creative is difficult.
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