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When people quote sketches to me, half the time I don't know what they're talking about so I have to sort of go, aha, yes, oh yep, I remember that and lie my way out of it.

John Cleese

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John Cleese
Age: 85
Born: 1939
Born: October 27
Actor
Autobiographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Weston-super-Mare
Somerset
John Marwood Cleese
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More quotes by John Cleese

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Most of the bad taste I've been accused of has been generic bad taste it's been making fun of an idea as opposed to a person.
John Cleese
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The World is insane. With tiny spots of sanity, here and there... Not the other way around!
John Cleese
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When you're being stalked by an angry mob with raspberries, the first thing to do is to release a tiger.
John Cleese
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What's the bleedin' point?
John Cleese
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The British fans are liable to suddenly be talking to you about something that you don't know how you got into the conversation. I think it's something to do with the fact that they've been watching you for so many years sort of you telling your story.
John Cleese
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Bureaucrats shouldn't be in charge of comedy.
John Cleese
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Oh, I could spend my life having this conversation - look - please try to understand before one of us dies
John Cleese
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years ago we would have been burned for this. Now what I am suggesting is that we've advanced.
John Cleese
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Loving your neighbour as much as yourself is practically bloody impossible? You might as well have a commandment that states,'Thou shalt fly'.
John Cleese
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I can never do better than 'Fawlty Towers,' whatever I do. Now I very much want to teach young talent some rules of the game.
John Cleese
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Some actors, I think, want to feel that they are as creative as the writer. And the answer is, frankly, they're not.
John Cleese
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The Americans all love 'The Holy Grail', and the English all love 'Life Of Brian', and I'm afraid on this one, I side with the English.
John Cleese
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Basil Fawlty was an easy character for me. For some reason, portraying a mean, uptight, incompetent bully comes naturally to me.
John Cleese
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If you wish to kill yourself but lack the courage to, I think a visit to Palmerston North will do the trick.
John Cleese
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As Daniel Levitin writes, our brain is a giant pattern detector. If we read something that coincides with what we already believe we're more likely to give it credence, while the opposite is not true.
John Cleese
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Come to me. I want to plow you like a Calgary driveway at Christmas.
John Cleese
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You have to create boundaries of space and then you have to create boundaries of time.
John Cleese
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I tend to have an odd split in my mind: I tend to look at it as a writer and when the writing thing is OK and I'm happy with it, then I put on my actor's hat.
John Cleese
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When we hold a World Championship for a particular sport, we invite teams from other countries to play as well.
John Cleese
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Michael Palin decided to give up on his considerable comedy talents to make those dreadfully tedious travel shows. Have you ever tried to watch one?
John Cleese