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When you do comedy in front of an audience, they are the ones who tell you whether it's funny or not and which bits are funny and which bits need to be fixed.

John Cleese

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John Cleese
Age: 85
Born: 1939
Born: October 27
Actor
Autobiographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Weston-super-Mare
Somerset
John Marwood Cleese
Tell
Fronts
Need
Front
Needs
Ones
Comedy
Bits
Audience
Whether
Funny
Fixed

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Although I had good hand-eye coordination, I was so tall and skinny and muscularly weak that I just was not well coordinated. But what I started to do quite early on was watch some of the great old silent comedians, like Laurel and Hardy and Chaplin, and then later on Harold Lloyd and Buster Keaton.
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When people quote sketches to me, half the time I don't know what they're talking about so I have to sort of go, aha, yes, oh yep, I remember that and lie my way out of it.
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It's a plastic surgeon you need, not a doctor
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Most of the bad taste I've been accused of has been generic bad taste it's been making fun of an idea as opposed to a person.
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Students who laugh more- learn more. Students who laugh more earn more.
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Come to me. I want to plow you like a Calgary driveway at Christmas.
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The British fans are liable to suddenly be talking to you about something that you don't know how you got into the conversation. I think it's something to do with the fact that they've been watching you for so many years sort of you telling your story.
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I can never do better than 'Fawlty Towers,' whatever I do. Now I very much want to teach young talent some rules of the game.
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What's the bleedin' point?
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Loving your neighbour as much as yourself is practically bloody impossible? You might as well have a commandment that states,'Thou shalt fly'.
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I'm very odd 'cause I think there's more than just a materialist planet, a materialist, reductionist planet.
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Sense of humor is so much more subjective than anyone believes.
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My hovercraft is full of eels.
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When we hold a World Championship for a particular sport, we invite teams from other countries to play as well.
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Filming takes a lot out of you. It really does. It's immensely demanding, and you have to put the rest of your life in the icebox until you do your final shot.
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What is absurd is not the teachings of the founders of religion, it's what followers subsequently make of it.
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If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?
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You have to create boundaries of space and then you have to create boundaries of time.
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This is the extraordinary thing about creativity: If just you keep your mind resting against the subject in a friendly but persistent way, sooner or later you will get a reward from your unconscious.
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If I can get you to laugh with me, you like me better, which makes you open to my ideas
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