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When you do comedy in front of an audience, they are the ones who tell you whether it's funny or not and which bits are funny and which bits need to be fixed.

John Cleese

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John Cleese
Age: 85
Born: 1939
Born: October 27
Actor
Autobiographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Weston-super-Mare
Somerset
John Marwood Cleese
Funny
Fixed
Tell
Fronts
Need
Front
Needs
Ones
Comedy
Bits
Audience
Whether

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I have several times made a poor choice by avoiding a necessary confrontation.
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You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him enter regional distribution codes in data field 97 to facilitate regression analysis on the back end.
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Don't let anyone tell you what you ought to like... Some wines that some experts think are absolutely exquisite don't appeal to me at all.
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Comedy always works best when it is mean-spirited.
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I would like to do my own eulogy, and then shoot myself and then get in the coffin.
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I wish you wusses would stop whining about your unhappiness. I'm really fed up with it. Pour yourself a scotch and pull yourself together. Go out and shoot something!
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The one thing I remember about Christmas was that my father used to take me out in a boat about ten miles offshore on Christmas Day, and I used to have to swim back. Extraordinary. It was a ritual. Mind you, that wasn't the hard part. The difficult bit was getting out of the sack.
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Everything in comedy's got to be exactly right, which is why making a comedic film is kind of a difficult process, because, for most of the two years of shooting it and editing it and reshooting and all of that, it's not quite right. And it's only when you just at the end, you put the final polish on it, it becomes really funny again.
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I was always a sports nut but I've lost interest now in whether one bunch of mercenaries in north London is going to beat another bunch of mercenaries from west London.
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The most creative people have learned to tolerate the slight discomfort of indecision for much longer and so, just because they put in more pondering time, their solutions are more creative.
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Some actors, I think, want to feel that they are as creative as the writer. And the answer is, frankly, they're not.
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I'm very odd 'cause I think there's more than just a materialist planet, a materialist, reductionist planet.
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I was a terrible dancer. I dance like an Englishman.
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Laughter is the best creative medicine.
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When you're being stalked by an angry mob with raspberries, the first thing to do is to release a tiger.
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I get bored easily. I've been bored most of my life.
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Either people walk round dressed as chickens or they listen to Beethoven.
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Filming is like a long air journey: there's so much hanging around and boredom that they keep giving you food.
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My views are heretical to people who believe in political correctness.
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Loving your neighbour as much as yourself is practically bloody impossible? You might as well have a commandment that states,'Thou shalt fly'.
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