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When you do comedy in front of an audience, they are the ones who tell you whether it's funny or not and which bits are funny and which bits need to be fixed.
John Cleese
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John Cleese
Age: 85
Born: 1939
Born: October 27
Actor
Autobiographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Weston-super-Mare
Somerset
John Marwood Cleese
Tell
Fronts
Need
Front
Needs
Ones
Comedy
Bits
Audience
Whether
Funny
Fixed
More quotes by John Cleese
Political correctness is a bit like a granny, a maiden aunt arriving at a party when everyone's having a good time. And she comes in, they all start sort of buttoning up and becoming self-conscious and behaving properly and then when she leaves, you can have fun again.
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The thrill I got discovering Buster Keaton when I was growing up was so exciting. He was one of the greats.
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It's a plastic surgeon you need, not a doctor
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Now most people do not want an ordinary life in which they do a job well, earn the respect of their collaborators and competitors, bring up a family and have friends. That's not enough any more, and I think that is absolutely tragic - and I'm not exaggerating - that people feel like a decent, ordinary, fun life is no longer enough.
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I think it's because in America you always get the sense that if you fail, you can just pack up your things and go somewhere else and try again. But in England, it's so geographically small that if somebody succeeds here, it reduces your chances of succeeding.
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The Americans are so much more positive. They are much more in love with success. In Britain, they're a fairly envious bunch, and they love it if you fail.
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The Americans are just more enthusiastic and more likely to engage in hyperbole.
John Cleese
Ask yourself, When does this decision have to be taken? and having answered it, defer the decision until then, in order to give yourself maximum pondering time.
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Oh, I could spend my life having this conversation - look - please try to understand before one of us dies
John Cleese
I learned a lot of things about literature talking to people at the publishing company. Did you know that about 90 percent of celebrity autobiographies are ghostwritten?
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Comedy always works best when it is mean-spirited.
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My hovercraft is full of eels.
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We need to be in the open mode when we are pondering a problem, but, once we come up with a solution, we must then switch to the closed mode to implement it.
John Cleese
I think there are so many activities going on, like mountaineering. You know, you would pay good money not to have to do that, and yet there are people racing out who want to spend their spare time clambering up rocks.
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When we hold a World Championship for a particular sport, we invite teams from other countries to play as well.
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There's something about watching an animal that puts you in contact with where we came from and what we're still a part of.
John Cleese
Come to me. I want to plow you like a Calgary driveway at Christmas.
John Cleese
If you wish to kill yourself but lack the courage to, I think a visit to Palmerston North will do the trick.
John Cleese
Either people walk round dressed as chickens or they listen to Beethoven.
John Cleese
My mum died about three years ago at the age of 101, and just towards the end, as she began to run out of energy, she did actually stop trying to tell me what to do most of the time.
John Cleese
