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When I was in school, I was beaten every 30 minutes. It never did me any harm except for some psychological mal-adjustments and blurred vision.

John Cleese

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John Cleese
Age: 85
Born: 1939
Born: October 27
Actor
Autobiographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Weston-super-Mare
Somerset
John Marwood Cleese
School
Adjustments
Every
Adjustment
Never
Beaten
Psychological
Harm
Except
Minutes
Vision
Blurred

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I think we're all born with a sense of humor. Creativity is another thing though.
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When you do comedy in front of an audience, they are the ones who tell you whether it's funny or not and which bits are funny and which bits need to be fixed.
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If I like chocolate it won't surprise you that I have a few chocolates in my fridge, but if you find out I've got 16 warehouses full of chocolate, you'd think I was insane. All these rich guys are insane, obsessive compulsive twits obsessed with money - money is all they think about - they're all nuts.
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Come to me. I want to plow you like a Calgary driveway at Christmas.
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What is absurd is not the teachings of the founders of religion, it's what followers subsequently make of it.
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I think that money spoils most things, once it becomes the primary motivating force.
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I think that the real religion is about the understanding that if we can only still our egos for a few seconds, we might have a chance of experiencing something that is divine in nature.
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No hope for planet at all. But I will be gone before the planet is gone, so it's your problem.
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Political correctness is a bit like a granny, a maiden aunt arriving at a party when everyone's having a good time. And she comes in, they all start sort of buttoning up and becoming self-conscious and behaving properly and then when she leaves, you can have fun again.
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By watching the great, old comedians I picked up a few tricks about how to do physical comedy. And whenever I could learn something, I sort of added that to my repertoire.
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I have several times made a poor choice by avoiding a necessary confrontation.
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Filming is like a long air journey: there's so much hanging around and boredom that they keep giving you food.
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What's the bleedin' point?
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Michael Palin decided to give up on his considerable comedy talents to make those dreadfully tedious travel shows. Have you ever tried to watch one?
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I can never do better than 'Fawlty Towers,' whatever I do. Now I very much want to teach young talent some rules of the game.
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You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him enter regional distribution codes in data field 97 to facilitate regression analysis on the back end.
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I'm very odd 'cause I think there's more than just a materialist planet, a materialist, reductionist planet.
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If I can get you to laugh with me, you like me better, which makes you open to my ideas
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Oh, I could spend my life having this conversation - look - please try to understand before one of us dies
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As Daniel Levitin writes, our brain is a giant pattern detector. If we read something that coincides with what we already believe we're more likely to give it credence, while the opposite is not true.
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