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What is absurd is not the teachings of the founders of religion, it's what followers subsequently make of it.

John Cleese

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John Cleese
Age: 85
Born: 1939
Born: October 27
Actor
Autobiographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Weston-super-Mare
Somerset
John Marwood Cleese
Founders
Followers
Absurd
Teaching
Religion
Make
Subsequently
Teachings

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Oh, I could spend my life having this conversation - look - please try to understand before one of us dies
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I'm not sure what's going on in Britain. I don't know what's going on in London. Because London is no longer an English city, and that's how they got the Olympics. I mean, they said, We're the most cosmopolitan city on Earth, but it doesn't feel English.
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Ask yourself, When does this decision have to be taken? and having answered it, defer the decision until then, in order to give yourself maximum pondering time.
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I was a terrible dancer. I dance like an Englishman.
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I wish you wusses would stop whining about your unhappiness. I'm really fed up with it. Pour yourself a scotch and pull yourself together. Go out and shoot something!
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When I was in school, I was beaten every 30 minutes. It never did me any harm except for some psychological mal-adjustments and blurred vision.
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Political correctness is a bit like a granny, a maiden aunt arriving at a party when everyone's having a good time. And she comes in, they all start sort of buttoning up and becoming self-conscious and behaving properly and then when she leaves, you can have fun again.
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Now most people do not want an ordinary life in which they do a job well, earn the respect of their collaborators and competitors, bring up a family and have friends. That's not enough any more, and I think that is absolutely tragic - and I'm not exaggerating - that people feel like a decent, ordinary, fun life is no longer enough.
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There are 3 basic differences between we British and you Americans. One, we speak English, and you don't. Two, when we have a World Championship, we invite teams from other nations. Three, when you meet the British head of State, you only have to get down on one knee.
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If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?
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I think that money spoils most things, once it becomes the primary motivating force.
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I have a tendency sometimes to get too logical with what I'm writing, just because I want it to be kind of perfect.
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It’s only on the brink that people find the will to change. Only at the precipice do we evolve.
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Most of the bad taste I've been accused of has been generic bad taste it's been making fun of an idea as opposed to a person.
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Because, as we all know, it’s easier to do trivial things that are urgent than it is to do important things that are not urgent, like thinking. And it’s also easier to do little things we know we can do than to start on big things that we’re not so sure about.
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If I like chocolate it won't surprise you that I have a few chocolates in my fridge, but if you find out I've got 16 warehouses full of chocolate, you'd think I was insane. All these rich guys are insane, obsessive compulsive twits obsessed with money - money is all they think about - they're all nuts.
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Laughter destroys any divisions between people.
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Comedy always works best when it is mean-spirited.
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I can never do better than 'Fawlty Towers,' whatever I do. Now I very much want to teach young talent some rules of the game.
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Students who laugh more- learn more. Students who laugh more earn more.
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