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You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him enter regional distribution codes in data field 97 to facilitate regression analysis on the back end.
John Cleese
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John Cleese
Age: 85
Born: 1939
Born: October 27
Actor
Autobiographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Weston-super-Mare
Somerset
John Marwood Cleese
Ends
Analysis
Back
Code
Make
Data
Regression
Field
Codes
Horse
Regional
Fields
Facilitate
Lead
Distribution
Water
Enter
More quotes by John Cleese
Comedy always works best when it is mean-spirited.
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I would like to do my own eulogy, and then shoot myself and then get in the coffin.
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Sense of humor is so much more subjective than anyone believes.
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The thrill I got discovering Buster Keaton when I was growing up was so exciting. He was one of the greats.
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Life is a terminal disease, and it is sexually transmitted.
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Most of the bad taste I've been accused of has been generic bad taste it's been making fun of an idea as opposed to a person.
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I'm struck by how laughter connects you with people. It's almost impossible to maintain any kind of distance or any sense of social hierarchy when you're just howling with laughter. Laughter is a force for democracy.
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There are 3 basic differences between we British and you Americans. One, we speak English, and you don't. Two, when we have a World Championship, we invite teams from other nations. Three, when you meet the British head of State, you only have to get down on one knee.
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The most creative people have this childlike facility to play.
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If I like chocolate it won't surprise you that I have a few chocolates in my fridge, but if you find out I've got 16 warehouses full of chocolate, you'd think I was insane. All these rich guys are insane, obsessive compulsive twits obsessed with money - money is all they think about - they're all nuts.
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If you are leaping a ravine, the moment of takeoff is a bad time for considering alternative strategies... Do it in the 'closed' mode. But the moment the action is over, try to return to the 'open' mode... because in that mode we are the most aware, most receptive, most creative, and therefore at our most intelligent.
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Everything in comedy's got to be exactly right, which is why making a comedic film is kind of a difficult process, because, for most of the two years of shooting it and editing it and reshooting and all of that, it's not quite right. And it's only when you just at the end, you put the final polish on it, it becomes really funny again.
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Now most people do not want an ordinary life in which they do a job well, earn the respect of their collaborators and competitors, bring up a family and have friends. That's not enough any more, and I think that is absolutely tragic - and I'm not exaggerating - that people feel like a decent, ordinary, fun life is no longer enough.
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Laughter destroys any divisions between people.
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Michael Palin decided to give up on his considerable comedy talents to make those dreadfully tedious travel shows. Have you ever tried to watch one?
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When you do comedy in front of an audience, they are the ones who tell you whether it's funny or not and which bits are funny and which bits need to be fixed.
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It’s only on the brink that people find the will to change. Only at the precipice do we evolve.
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The Americans are just more enthusiastic and more likely to engage in hyperbole.
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My mum died about three years ago at the age of 101, and just towards the end, as she began to run out of energy, she did actually stop trying to tell me what to do most of the time.
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I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me.
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