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Who's ever going to write a film in which I get the girl? Me!

John Cleese

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John Cleese
Age: 85
Born: 1939
Born: October 27
Actor
Autobiographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Weston-super-Mare
Somerset
John Marwood Cleese
Ever
Writing
Going
Girl
Write
Film

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I have several times made a poor choice by avoiding a necessary confrontation.
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I want to write a book which is the history of comedy.
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I learned a lot of things about literature talking to people at the publishing company. Did you know that about 90 percent of celebrity autobiographies are ghostwritten?
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I wish you wusses would stop whining about your unhappiness. I'm really fed up with it. Pour yourself a scotch and pull yourself together. Go out and shoot something!
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What is absurd is not the teachings of the founders of religion, it's what followers subsequently make of it.
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I get bored easily. I've been bored most of my life.
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It’s only on the brink that people find the will to change. Only at the precipice do we evolve.
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Don't let anyone tell you what you ought to like... Some wines that some experts think are absolutely exquisite don't appeal to me at all.
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I'm not sure what's going on in Britain. I don't know what's going on in London. Because London is no longer an English city, and that's how they got the Olympics. I mean, they said, We're the most cosmopolitan city on Earth, but it doesn't feel English.
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The Americans are just more enthusiastic and more likely to engage in hyperbole.
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If you are leaping a ravine, the moment of takeoff is a bad time for considering alternative strategies... Do it in the 'closed' mode. But the moment the action is over, try to return to the 'open' mode... because in that mode we are the most aware, most receptive, most creative, and therefore at our most intelligent.
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If I can get you to laugh with me, you like me better, which makes you open to my ideas
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The thrill I got discovering Buster Keaton when I was growing up was so exciting. He was one of the greats.
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I was a terrible dancer. I dance like an Englishman.
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I tend to have an odd split in my mind: I tend to look at it as a writer and when the writing thing is OK and I'm happy with it, then I put on my actor's hat.
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Students who laugh more- learn more. Students who laugh more earn more.
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There are 3 basic differences between we British and you Americans. One, we speak English, and you don't. Two, when we have a World Championship, we invite teams from other nations. Three, when you meet the British head of State, you only have to get down on one knee.
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Muslims, who have a completely different value system, come to the West, then they should accept that there are certain basic values in the West intrinsic to our culture. Just as I wouldn't suggest that any Westerner walk down the streets of Saudi Arabia in a bikini.
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It's a plastic surgeon you need, not a doctor
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Sense of humor is so much more subjective than anyone believes.
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