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The sad thing about true stupidity is that you can do absolutely nothing about it.

John Cleese

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John Cleese
Age: 85
Born: 1939
Born: October 27
Actor
Autobiographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Weston-super-Mare
Somerset
John Marwood Cleese
Stupidity
Absolutely
True
Nothing
Thing

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I think that the real religion is about the understanding that if we can only still our egos for a few seconds, we might have a chance of experiencing something that is divine in nature.
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A satisfied customer. We should have him stuffed.
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Laughter is the best creative medicine.
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If I can get you to laugh with me, you like me better, which makes you open to my ideas
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I wish you wusses would stop whining about your unhappiness. I'm really fed up with it. Pour yourself a scotch and pull yourself together. Go out and shoot something!
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I can certainly see that you know your wine. Most of the guests who stay here wouldn't know the difference between Bordeaux and Claret.
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The one thing I remember about Christmas was that my father used to take me out in a boat about ten miles offshore on Christmas Day, and I used to have to swim back. Extraordinary. It was a ritual. Mind you, that wasn't the hard part. The difficult bit was getting out of the sack.
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If I can get you to laugh with me, you like me better, which makes you more open to my ideas. And if I can persuade you to laugh at the particular point I make, by laughing at it you acknowledge its truth.
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If you want creative workers, give them enough time to play.
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I think the problem with people like this is that they are so stupid that they have no idea how stupid they are.
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I'm very odd 'cause I think there's more than just a materialist planet, a materialist, reductionist planet.
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You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him enter regional distribution codes in data field 97 to facilitate regression analysis on the back end.
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When we hold a World Championship for a particular sport, we invite teams from other countries to play as well.
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I'm struck by how laughter connects you with people. It's almost impossible to maintain any kind of distance or any sense of social hierarchy when you're just howling with laughter. Laughter is a force for democracy.
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God was treated like this powerful, erratic, rather punitive father who has to be pacified and praised. You know, flattered.
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Sci-fi has never really been my bag. But I do believe in a lot of weird things these days, such as synchronicity. Quantum physics suggests it's possible, so why not?
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I was a terrible dancer. I dance like an Englishman.
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No hope for planet at all. But I will be gone before the planet is gone, so it's your problem.
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I have a tendency sometimes to get too logical with what I'm writing, just because I want it to be kind of perfect.
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I can never do better than 'Fawlty Towers,' whatever I do. Now I very much want to teach young talent some rules of the game.
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