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My hovercraft is full of eels.

John Cleese

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John Cleese
Age: 85
Born: 1939
Born: October 27
Actor
Autobiographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Weston-super-Mare
Somerset
John Marwood Cleese
Eels
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More quotes by John Cleese

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When I was in school, I was beaten every 30 minutes. It never did me any harm except for some psychological mal-adjustments and blurred vision.
John Cleese
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This is the extraordinary thing about creativity: If just you keep your mind resting against the subject in a friendly but persistent way, sooner or later you will get a reward from your unconscious.
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Creativity is not an ability that you either have or do not have. It is, for example, and this may surprise you, absolutely unrelated to IQ, provided you're intelligent above a certain minimal level.
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I have several times made a poor choice by avoiding a necessary confrontation.
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I was always a sports nut but I've lost interest now in whether one bunch of mercenaries in north London is going to beat another bunch of mercenaries from west London.
John Cleese
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I wish you wusses would stop whining about your unhappiness. I'm really fed up with it. Pour yourself a scotch and pull yourself together. Go out and shoot something!
John Cleese
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The most creative people have learned to tolerate the slight discomfort of indecision for much longer and so, just because they put in more pondering time, their solutions are more creative.
John Cleese
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If I can get you to laugh with me, you like me better, which makes you open to my ideas
John Cleese
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I tend to have an odd split in my mind: I tend to look at it as a writer and when the writing thing is OK and I'm happy with it, then I put on my actor's hat.
John Cleese
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Bureaucrats shouldn't be in charge of comedy.
John Cleese
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I'm very odd 'cause I think there's more than just a materialist planet, a materialist, reductionist planet.
John Cleese
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Aping urbanity, Oozing with vanity, Plump as a manatee, Faking humanity, Intellectual inanity, Journalistic calamity, Fox Noise insanity, You're a profanity, Hannity.
John Cleese
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I was a terrible dancer. I dance like an Englishman.
John Cleese
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Filming is like a long air journey: there's so much hanging around and boredom that they keep giving you food.
John Cleese
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I can never do better than 'Fawlty Towers,' whatever I do. Now I very much want to teach young talent some rules of the game.
John Cleese
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When we hold a World Championship for a particular sport, we invite teams from other countries to play as well.
John Cleese
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Most of the bad taste I've been accused of has been generic bad taste it's been making fun of an idea as opposed to a person.
John Cleese
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I could take an umbrella and balance it on my chin or on my foot. And I just got interested in that kind of thing. And as I played games more and more and got stronger physically, I just became more coordinated.
John Cleese
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Oh, I could spend my life having this conversation - look - please try to understand before one of us dies
John Cleese
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Filming takes a lot out of you. It really does. It's immensely demanding, and you have to put the rest of your life in the icebox until you do your final shot.
John Cleese