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If you wish to kill yourself but lack the courage to, I think a visit to Palmerston North will do the trick.
John Cleese
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John Cleese
Age: 85
Born: 1939
Born: October 27
Actor
Autobiographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Weston-super-Mare
Somerset
John Marwood Cleese
North
Tricks
Lack
Kill
Courage
Wish
Think
Visit
Thinking
Trick
More quotes by John Cleese
Laughter destroys any divisions between people.
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If you want creative workers, give them enough time to play.
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Because, as we all know, it’s easier to do trivial things that are urgent than it is to do important things that are not urgent, like thinking. And it’s also easier to do little things we know we can do than to start on big things that we’re not so sure about.
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When you do comedy in front of an audience, they are the ones who tell you whether it's funny or not and which bits are funny and which bits need to be fixed.
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I would like to do my own eulogy, and then shoot myself and then get in the coffin.
John Cleese
Your Mother was A Hamster and you Father Smelled of elder berries.
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The sad thing about true stupidity is that you can do absolutely nothing about it.
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I tend to have an odd split in my mind: I tend to look at it as a writer and when the writing thing is OK and I'm happy with it, then I put on my actor's hat.
John Cleese
Life is a terminal disease, and it is sexually transmitted.
John Cleese
I could take an umbrella and balance it on my chin or on my foot. And I just got interested in that kind of thing. And as I played games more and more and got stronger physically, I just became more coordinated.
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The one thing I remember about Christmas was that my father used to take me out in a boat about ten miles offshore on Christmas Day, and I used to have to swim back. Extraordinary. It was a ritual. Mind you, that wasn't the hard part. The difficult bit was getting out of the sack.
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Sci-fi has never really been my bag. But I do believe in a lot of weird things these days, such as synchronicity. Quantum physics suggests it's possible, so why not?
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By watching the great, old comedians I picked up a few tricks about how to do physical comedy. And whenever I could learn something, I sort of added that to my repertoire.
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I have several times made a poor choice by avoiding a necessary confrontation.
John Cleese
When you're being stalked by an angry mob with raspberries, the first thing to do is to release a tiger.
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The Americans are so much more positive. They are much more in love with success. In Britain, they're a fairly envious bunch, and they love it if you fail.
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The thrill I got discovering Buster Keaton when I was growing up was so exciting. He was one of the greats.
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I want to write a book which is the history of comedy.
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Filming is like a long air journey: there's so much hanging around and boredom that they keep giving you food.
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I learned a lot of things about literature talking to people at the publishing company. Did you know that about 90 percent of celebrity autobiographies are ghostwritten?
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