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If you wish to kill yourself but lack the courage to, I think a visit to Palmerston North will do the trick.

John Cleese

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John Cleese
Age: 85
Born: 1939
Born: October 27
Actor
Autobiographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Weston-super-Mare
Somerset
John Marwood Cleese
Thinking
Trick
North
Tricks
Lack
Kill
Courage
Wish
Think
Visit

More quotes by John Cleese

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Telling people how to be creative is easy - being creative is difficult.
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Some actors, I think, want to feel that they are as creative as the writer. And the answer is, frankly, they're not.
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Either people walk round dressed as chickens or they listen to Beethoven.
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I would like to do my own eulogy, and then shoot myself and then get in the coffin.
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Come to me. I want to plow you like a Calgary driveway at Christmas.
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I think it takes a long time, as you get older, to realize just how crazy the world is, just how ridiculous it all is.
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If you really don't know where to start or if you're stuck, start generating random connections and allow your intuition to tell you if one might lead somewhere interesting.
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Filming takes a lot out of you. It really does. It's immensely demanding, and you have to put the rest of your life in the icebox until you do your final shot.
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The most creative people have learned to tolerate the slight discomfort of indecision for much longer and so, just because they put in more pondering time, their solutions are more creative.
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Filming is like a long air journey: there's so much hanging around and boredom that they keep giving you food.
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When I was in school, I was beaten every 30 minutes. It never did me any harm except for some psychological mal-adjustments and blurred vision.
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By watching the great, old comedians I picked up a few tricks about how to do physical comedy. And whenever I could learn something, I sort of added that to my repertoire.
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I'm struck by how laughter connects you with people. It's almost impossible to maintain any kind of distance or any sense of social hierarchy when you're just howling with laughter. Laughter is a force for democracy.
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Don't let anyone tell you what you ought to like... Some wines that some experts think are absolutely exquisite don't appeal to me at all.
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The main evolutionary significance of humor is that it gets us from the closed mode to the open mode quicker than anything else.
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The most creative people have this childlike facility to play.
John Cleese
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Loving your neighbour as much as yourself is practically bloody impossible? You might as well have a commandment that states,'Thou shalt fly'.
John Cleese
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The Americans all love 'The Holy Grail', and the English all love 'Life Of Brian', and I'm afraid on this one, I side with the English.
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When people quote sketches to me, half the time I don't know what they're talking about so I have to sort of go, aha, yes, oh yep, I remember that and lie my way out of it.
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I was always a sports nut but I've lost interest now in whether one bunch of mercenaries in north London is going to beat another bunch of mercenaries from west London.
John Cleese