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If you wish to kill yourself but lack the courage to, I think a visit to Palmerston North will do the trick.

John Cleese

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John Cleese
Age: 85
Born: 1939
Born: October 27
Actor
Autobiographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Weston-super-Mare
Somerset
John Marwood Cleese
Thinking
Trick
North
Tricks
Lack
Kill
Courage
Wish
Think
Visit

More quotes by John Cleese

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I wish you wusses would stop whining about your unhappiness. I'm really fed up with it. Pour yourself a scotch and pull yourself together. Go out and shoot something!
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You have to create boundaries of space and then you have to create boundaries of time.
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I think that money spoils most things, once it becomes the primary motivating force.
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The British fans are liable to suddenly be talking to you about something that you don't know how you got into the conversation. I think it's something to do with the fact that they've been watching you for so many years sort of you telling your story.
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Comedy always works best when it is mean-spirited.
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I have several times made a poor choice by avoiding a necessary confrontation.
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I would like to do my own eulogy, and then shoot myself and then get in the coffin.
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I think you can write very good comedy without a partner, but what I love about it, working with a partner, is that you get to places you'd never get on your own. It's like when God was designing the world and decided we couldn't have children without a partner it was a way of mixing up the genes so you'd get a more interesting product.
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If you really don't know where to start or if you're stuck, start generating random connections and allow your intuition to tell you if one might lead somewhere interesting.
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Oh, I could spend my life having this conversation - look - please try to understand before one of us dies
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I was always a sports nut but I've lost interest now in whether one bunch of mercenaries in north London is going to beat another bunch of mercenaries from west London.
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As Daniel Levitin writes, our brain is a giant pattern detector. If we read something that coincides with what we already believe we're more likely to give it credence, while the opposite is not true.
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Some actors, I think, want to feel that they are as creative as the writer. And the answer is, frankly, they're not.
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I think that the real religion is about the understanding that if we can only still our egos for a few seconds, we might have a chance of experiencing something that is divine in nature.
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When the target audience is American teenage kids, you can have problems. My generation prized really fine acting and writing. Sometimes you have to go back to the basic principles which underpin great visual comedy.
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When you're being stalked by an angry mob with raspberries, the first thing to do is to release a tiger.
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I think the problem with people like this is that they are so stupid that they have no idea how stupid they are.
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My mum died about three years ago at the age of 101, and just towards the end, as she began to run out of energy, she did actually stop trying to tell me what to do most of the time.
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The most creative people have this childlike facility to play.
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When people quote sketches to me, half the time I don't know what they're talking about so I have to sort of go, aha, yes, oh yep, I remember that and lie my way out of it.
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