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I can certainly see that you know your wine. Most of the guests who stay here wouldn't know the difference between Bordeaux and Claret.

John Cleese

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John Cleese
Age: 85
Born: 1939
Born: October 27
Actor
Autobiographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Weston-super-Mare
Somerset
John Marwood Cleese
Grapes
Guests
Wine
Certainly
Difference
Bordeaux
Wouldn
Chardonnay
Stay
Claret
Differences
Vineyards

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Loving your neighbour as much as yourself is practically bloody impossible? You might as well have a commandment that states,'Thou shalt fly'.
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The one thing I remember about Christmas was that my father used to take me out in a boat about ten miles offshore on Christmas Day, and I used to have to swim back. Extraordinary. It was a ritual. Mind you, that wasn't the hard part. The difficult bit was getting out of the sack.
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When you've been doing comedy for forty years, you really do know most of the jokes. And even if you don't know a specific joke, you can pretty much guess what it's going to be.
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I think it's because in America you always get the sense that if you fail, you can just pack up your things and go somewhere else and try again. But in England, it's so geographically small that if somebody succeeds here, it reduces your chances of succeeding.
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I'm very odd 'cause I think there's more than just a materialist planet, a materialist, reductionist planet.
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A satisfied customer. We should have him stuffed.
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I was a terrible dancer. I dance like an Englishman.
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Life is a terminal disease, and it is sexually transmitted.
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I have several times made a poor choice by avoiding a necessary confrontation.
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I get bored easily. I've been bored most of my life.
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I think it takes a long time, as you get older, to realize just how crazy the world is, just how ridiculous it all is.
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My mum died about three years ago at the age of 101, and just towards the end, as she began to run out of energy, she did actually stop trying to tell me what to do most of the time.
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We all die at the end, but does that nullify everything? Would most people rather say, I wish I hadn't been born? Once you're born you'll have to die, now is that funny or sad?
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The thrill I got discovering Buster Keaton when I was growing up was so exciting. He was one of the greats.
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I wish you wusses would stop whining about your unhappiness. I'm really fed up with it. Pour yourself a scotch and pull yourself together. Go out and shoot something!
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Creativity is not a talent. It is a way of operating.
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Sci-fi has never really been my bag. But I do believe in a lot of weird things these days, such as synchronicity. Quantum physics suggests it's possible, so why not?
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