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Come to me. I want to plow you like a Calgary driveway at Christmas.

John Cleese

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John Cleese
Age: 85
Born: 1939
Born: October 27
Actor
Autobiographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Weston-super-Mare
Somerset
John Marwood Cleese
Christmas
Come
Like
Calgary
Plow
Driveway

More quotes by John Cleese

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Now most people do not want an ordinary life in which they do a job well, earn the respect of their collaborators and competitors, bring up a family and have friends. That's not enough any more, and I think that is absolutely tragic - and I'm not exaggerating - that people feel like a decent, ordinary, fun life is no longer enough.
John Cleese
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I would like to do my own eulogy, and then shoot myself and then get in the coffin.
John Cleese
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I'm struck by how laughter connects you with people. It's almost impossible to maintain any kind of distance or any sense of social hierarchy when you're just howling with laughter. Laughter is a force for democracy.
John Cleese
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You have to create boundaries of space and then you have to create boundaries of time.
John Cleese
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Oh, I could spend my life having this conversation - look - please try to understand before one of us dies
John Cleese
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You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him enter regional distribution codes in data field 97 to facilitate regression analysis on the back end.
John Cleese
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I have a tendency sometimes to get too logical with what I'm writing, just because I want it to be kind of perfect.
John Cleese
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A satisfied customer. We should have him stuffed.
John Cleese
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The most creative people have this childlike facility to play.
John Cleese
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If I can get you to laugh with me, you like me better, which makes you more open to my ideas. And if I can persuade you to laugh at the particular point I make, by laughing at it you acknowledge its truth.
John Cleese
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I can certainly see that you know your wine. Most of the guests who stay here wouldn't know the difference between Bordeaux and Claret.
John Cleese
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Loving your neighbour as much as yourself is practically bloody impossible? You might as well have a commandment that states,'Thou shalt fly'.
John Cleese
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When I was in school, I was beaten every 30 minutes. It never did me any harm except for some psychological mal-adjustments and blurred vision.
John Cleese
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I think we're all born with a sense of humor. Creativity is another thing though.
John Cleese
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We all die at the end, but does that nullify everything? Would most people rather say, I wish I hadn't been born? Once you're born you'll have to die, now is that funny or sad?
John Cleese
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Political correctness is a bit like a granny, a maiden aunt arriving at a party when everyone's having a good time. And she comes in, they all start sort of buttoning up and becoming self-conscious and behaving properly and then when she leaves, you can have fun again.
John Cleese
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Life is a terminal disease, and it is sexually transmitted.
John Cleese
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I'm not sure what's going on in Britain. I don't know what's going on in London. Because London is no longer an English city, and that's how they got the Olympics. I mean, they said, We're the most cosmopolitan city on Earth, but it doesn't feel English.
John Cleese
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Bureaucrats shouldn't be in charge of comedy.
John Cleese
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I have several times made a poor choice by avoiding a necessary confrontation.
John Cleese