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Oh, I could spend my life having this conversation - look - please try to understand before one of us dies

John Cleese

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John Cleese
Age: 85
Born: 1939
Born: October 27
Actor
Autobiographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Weston-super-Mare
Somerset
John Marwood Cleese
Please
Dies
Funny
Understand
Look
Looks
Sarcastic
Trying
Conversation
Life
Spend

More quotes by John Cleese

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I think there are so many activities going on, like mountaineering. You know, you would pay good money not to have to do that, and yet there are people racing out who want to spend their spare time clambering up rocks.
John Cleese
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The Americans are just more enthusiastic and more likely to engage in hyperbole.
John Cleese
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The Americans all love 'The Holy Grail', and the English all love 'Life Of Brian', and I'm afraid on this one, I side with the English.
John Cleese
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The one thing I remember about Christmas was that my father used to take me out in a boat about ten miles offshore on Christmas Day, and I used to have to swim back. Extraordinary. It was a ritual. Mind you, that wasn't the hard part. The difficult bit was getting out of the sack.
John Cleese
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When the target audience is American teenage kids, you can have problems. My generation prized really fine acting and writing. Sometimes you have to go back to the basic principles which underpin great visual comedy.
John Cleese
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What is absurd is not the teachings of the founders of religion, it's what followers subsequently make of it.
John Cleese
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Michael Palin decided to give up on his considerable comedy talents to make those dreadfully tedious travel shows. Have you ever tried to watch one?
John Cleese
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Bureaucrats shouldn't be in charge of comedy.
John Cleese
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My mum died about three years ago at the age of 101, and just towards the end, as she began to run out of energy, she did actually stop trying to tell me what to do most of the time.
John Cleese
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If I like chocolate it won't surprise you that I have a few chocolates in my fridge, but if you find out I've got 16 warehouses full of chocolate, you'd think I was insane. All these rich guys are insane, obsessive compulsive twits obsessed with money - money is all they think about - they're all nuts.
John Cleese
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I think the problem with people like this is that they are so stupid that they have no idea how stupid they are.
John Cleese
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No hope for planet at all. But I will be gone before the planet is gone, so it's your problem.
John Cleese
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I can certainly see that you know your wine. Most of the guests who stay here wouldn't know the difference between Bordeaux and Claret.
John Cleese
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When you're being stalked by an angry mob with raspberries, the first thing to do is to release a tiger.
John Cleese
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My hovercraft is full of eels.
John Cleese
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Comedy always works best when it is mean-spirited.
John Cleese
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Your Mother was A Hamster and you Father Smelled of elder berries.
John Cleese
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I'm not sure what's going on in Britain. I don't know what's going on in London. Because London is no longer an English city, and that's how they got the Olympics. I mean, they said, We're the most cosmopolitan city on Earth, but it doesn't feel English.
John Cleese
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I have a tendency sometimes to get too logical with what I'm writing, just because I want it to be kind of perfect.
John Cleese
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I can never do better than 'Fawlty Towers,' whatever I do. Now I very much want to teach young talent some rules of the game.
John Cleese