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What's the bleedin' point?

John Cleese

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John Cleese
Age: 85
Born: 1939
Born: October 27
Actor
Autobiographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Weston-super-Mare
Somerset
John Marwood Cleese
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More quotes by John Cleese

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Loving your neighbour as much as yourself is practically bloody impossible? You might as well have a commandment that states,'Thou shalt fly'.
John Cleese
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The main evolutionary significance of humor is that it gets us from the closed mode to the open mode quicker than anything else.
John Cleese
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Basil Fawlty was an easy character for me. For some reason, portraying a mean, uptight, incompetent bully comes naturally to me.
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Filming is like a long air journey: there's so much hanging around and boredom that they keep giving you food.
John Cleese
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Everything in comedy's got to be exactly right, which is why making a comedic film is kind of a difficult process, because, for most of the two years of shooting it and editing it and reshooting and all of that, it's not quite right. And it's only when you just at the end, you put the final polish on it, it becomes really funny again.
John Cleese
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Come to me. I want to plow you like a Calgary driveway at Christmas.
John Cleese
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My hovercraft is full of eels.
John Cleese
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I have several times made a poor choice by avoiding a necessary confrontation.
John Cleese
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I'm always meeting new people, and my list of friends seems to change quite a bit.
John Cleese
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Life is a terminal disease, and it is sexually transmitted.
John Cleese
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If I can get you to laugh with me, you like me better, which makes you more open to my ideas. And if I can persuade you to laugh at the particular point I make, by laughing at it you acknowledge its truth.
John Cleese
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I'm not sure what's going on in Britain. I don't know what's going on in London. Because London is no longer an English city, and that's how they got the Olympics. I mean, they said, We're the most cosmopolitan city on Earth, but it doesn't feel English.
John Cleese
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I could take an umbrella and balance it on my chin or on my foot. And I just got interested in that kind of thing. And as I played games more and more and got stronger physically, I just became more coordinated.
John Cleese
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Because, as we all know, it’s easier to do trivial things that are urgent than it is to do important things that are not urgent, like thinking. And it’s also easier to do little things we know we can do than to start on big things that we’re not so sure about.
John Cleese
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There's something about watching an animal that puts you in contact with where we came from and what we're still a part of.
John Cleese
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When the target audience is American teenage kids, you can have problems. My generation prized really fine acting and writing. Sometimes you have to go back to the basic principles which underpin great visual comedy.
John Cleese
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When we hold a World Championship for a particular sport, we invite teams from other countries to play as well.
John Cleese
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It's a plastic surgeon you need, not a doctor
John Cleese
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Comedy always works best when it is mean-spirited.
John Cleese
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Most of the bad taste I've been accused of has been generic bad taste it's been making fun of an idea as opposed to a person.
John Cleese