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England is a fairly envious little country and it's embodied in the press. They don't like anyone being more distinguished than they are.

John Cleese

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John Cleese
Age: 85
Born: 1939
Born: October 27
Actor
Autobiographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Weston-super-Mare
Somerset
John Marwood Cleese
Presses
Press
England
Anyone
Littles
Embodied
Little
Envious
Country
Distinguished
Like
Fairly

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If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?
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Ask yourself, When does this decision have to be taken? and having answered it, defer the decision until then, in order to give yourself maximum pondering time.
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I have several times made a poor choice by avoiding a necessary confrontation.
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God was treated like this powerful, erratic, rather punitive father who has to be pacified and praised. You know, flattered.
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When I was in school, I was beaten every 30 minutes. It never did me any harm except for some psychological mal-adjustments and blurred vision.
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We need to be in the open mode when we are pondering a problem, but, once we come up with a solution, we must then switch to the closed mode to implement it.
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I would like to do my own eulogy, and then shoot myself and then get in the coffin.
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The one thing I remember about Christmas was that my father used to take me out in a boat about ten miles offshore on Christmas Day, and I used to have to swim back. Extraordinary. It was a ritual. Mind you, that wasn't the hard part. The difficult bit was getting out of the sack.
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Come to me. I want to plow you like a Calgary driveway at Christmas.
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When the target audience is American teenage kids, you can have problems. My generation prized really fine acting and writing. Sometimes you have to go back to the basic principles which underpin great visual comedy.
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Filming takes a lot out of you. It really does. It's immensely demanding, and you have to put the rest of your life in the icebox until you do your final shot.
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There are 3 basic differences between we British and you Americans. One, we speak English, and you don't. Two, when we have a World Championship, we invite teams from other nations. Three, when you meet the British head of State, you only have to get down on one knee.
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Students who laugh more- learn more. Students who laugh more earn more.
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Oh, I could spend my life having this conversation - look - please try to understand before one of us dies
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