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England is a fairly envious little country and it's embodied in the press. They don't like anyone being more distinguished than they are.

John Cleese

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John Cleese
Age: 85
Born: 1939
Born: October 27
Actor
Autobiographer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Weston-super-Mare
Somerset
John Marwood Cleese
Press
England
Anyone
Littles
Embodied
Little
Envious
Country
Distinguished
Like
Fairly
Presses

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Who's ever going to write a film in which I get the girl? Me!
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Although I had good hand-eye coordination, I was so tall and skinny and muscularly weak that I just was not well coordinated. But what I started to do quite early on was watch some of the great old silent comedians, like Laurel and Hardy and Chaplin, and then later on Harold Lloyd and Buster Keaton.
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My views are heretical to people who believe in political correctness.
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When I was in school, I was beaten every 30 minutes. It never did me any harm except for some psychological mal-adjustments and blurred vision.
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No hope for planet at all. But I will be gone before the planet is gone, so it's your problem.
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Sense of humor is so much more subjective than anyone believes.
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My mum died about three years ago at the age of 101, and just towards the end, as she began to run out of energy, she did actually stop trying to tell me what to do most of the time.
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Muslims, who have a completely different value system, come to the West, then they should accept that there are certain basic values in the West intrinsic to our culture. Just as I wouldn't suggest that any Westerner walk down the streets of Saudi Arabia in a bikini.
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When we hold a World Championship for a particular sport, we invite teams from other countries to play as well.
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The Americans are just more enthusiastic and more likely to engage in hyperbole.
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I wish you wusses would stop whining about your unhappiness. I'm really fed up with it. Pour yourself a scotch and pull yourself together. Go out and shoot something!
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When people quote sketches to me, half the time I don't know what they're talking about so I have to sort of go, aha, yes, oh yep, I remember that and lie my way out of it.
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What's the bleedin' point?
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You have to create boundaries of space and then you have to create boundaries of time.
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There are 3 basic differences between we British and you Americans. One, we speak English, and you don't. Two, when we have a World Championship, we invite teams from other nations. Three, when you meet the British head of State, you only have to get down on one knee.
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I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me.
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The thrill I got discovering Buster Keaton when I was growing up was so exciting. He was one of the greats.
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The main evolutionary significance of humor is that it gets us from the closed mode to the open mode quicker than anything else.
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